Don't Let This Happen to You
Head Hopping
What is head hopping?
If you've read any of my posts, you know that I can be rather OCD when it comes to consistency and logic. I am reading this four-book series, and there are three main characters. Written in first person there is the main POV, the girl, and then there are her two guys. Lets call one, her 'Addiction', and one, her 'Perfect' match.
I've been in a trio like this exactly once and believe me, I have no desire to ever repeat it. For one evening I thought it would be nice if an ex-boyfriend/still friend returning from basic training in the Air Force could come along on an evening out with me and my current boyfriend. Boy was I mistaken. Current bo driving, me in the middle, ex-bo on my other side in a truck. I don't even remember what we did. There was so much tension in that vehicle, I could have cut it with a knife if I had one. To draw this torture out through all four books is insane, but I digress.
Back to head hopping.
All the way through the first three books, the story follows the girl as she struggles to maintain her relationship with both guys. From her point of view, they fill different places in her heart, but the two guys couldn't possibly be worse enemies. Their feelings for her are all that keeps them from killing each other. There is of course lots of outside drama going on in these books, but this triangle is the core of the entire series.
So, like I said, all the way through the first three books, the story is told from the girl's POV and in first person, then suddenly, in the very last chapter of the third book, we find ourselves in a different location talking to a different character, and saying things that just don't fit. Not that they are not possible, I was just left struggling as to how we got there and why we were talking to this other character, and why they were saying what they were saying. Turns out we were suddenly in the head of Mr. Perfect.
There is nothing wrong with the way this POV was changed, it's just ... why wait all the way until the very last chapter of the third book to do it? And why make me struggle for like two pages before telling me I'm now inside the head of Perfect? If you're going to go head hopping in your book, by all means do it right, but also be consistent, and please bring on the clues very early on. At this point, though Perfect's drama was very well written, and I did feel incredibly sorry for him, that feeling was nothing new. I already felt sorry for him, in my opinion, this chapter did not further the story. Nothing would have been lacking if that chapter were left out of the book.
Begin book four and we're back where we are used to being, at least for a little while. I have no problem with head hopping, and it was well done here, but why so late when there were opportunities throughout the series for other head hopping that would accentuate the agony of these two guys and give us a window into their thoughts and concerns rather than keeping us guessing like the girl has to. Why are we now sharing only with Perfect? There was a super opportunity to get inside the head of Addiction in book two, but no, we only find out what was happening with him after the girl gets involved with him again, and even then, it's only bits and pieces.
I look back and think that there surely should have been at least one chapter devoted to each guy in each book, course I would have preferred more. I mean, if you're going to do it at all, get into it. Either that or leave out the other POVs altogether. I'm sure us readers could have struggled along just fine, even into the fourth book, with only the one POV as she learns what happens around her like always.
Things like this make me wonder if the publisher was paying attention. Of course, big publishers can't pay intimate attention to any one book, but really, one series should at least have the same editor. I'm convinced this was not the case. A professional editor isn't likely to allow such a drastic change in story structure so late in the course of a series. Or would they? Hmmm Maybe her editor isn't as picky as I am.
What do you think?
What is head hopping?
If you've read any of my posts, you know that I can be rather OCD when it comes to consistency and logic. I am reading this four-book series, and there are three main characters. Written in first person there is the main POV, the girl, and then there are her two guys. Lets call one, her 'Addiction', and one, her 'Perfect' match.
I've been in a trio like this exactly once and believe me, I have no desire to ever repeat it. For one evening I thought it would be nice if an ex-boyfriend/still friend returning from basic training in the Air Force could come along on an evening out with me and my current boyfriend. Boy was I mistaken. Current bo driving, me in the middle, ex-bo on my other side in a truck. I don't even remember what we did. There was so much tension in that vehicle, I could have cut it with a knife if I had one. To draw this torture out through all four books is insane, but I digress.
Back to head hopping.
All the way through the first three books, the story follows the girl as she struggles to maintain her relationship with both guys. From her point of view, they fill different places in her heart, but the two guys couldn't possibly be worse enemies. Their feelings for her are all that keeps them from killing each other. There is of course lots of outside drama going on in these books, but this triangle is the core of the entire series.
So, like I said, all the way through the first three books, the story is told from the girl's POV and in first person, then suddenly, in the very last chapter of the third book, we find ourselves in a different location talking to a different character, and saying things that just don't fit. Not that they are not possible, I was just left struggling as to how we got there and why we were talking to this other character, and why they were saying what they were saying. Turns out we were suddenly in the head of Mr. Perfect.
There is nothing wrong with the way this POV was changed, it's just ... why wait all the way until the very last chapter of the third book to do it? And why make me struggle for like two pages before telling me I'm now inside the head of Perfect? If you're going to go head hopping in your book, by all means do it right, but also be consistent, and please bring on the clues very early on. At this point, though Perfect's drama was very well written, and I did feel incredibly sorry for him, that feeling was nothing new. I already felt sorry for him, in my opinion, this chapter did not further the story. Nothing would have been lacking if that chapter were left out of the book.
Begin book four and we're back where we are used to being, at least for a little while. I have no problem with head hopping, and it was well done here, but why so late when there were opportunities throughout the series for other head hopping that would accentuate the agony of these two guys and give us a window into their thoughts and concerns rather than keeping us guessing like the girl has to. Why are we now sharing only with Perfect? There was a super opportunity to get inside the head of Addiction in book two, but no, we only find out what was happening with him after the girl gets involved with him again, and even then, it's only bits and pieces.
I look back and think that there surely should have been at least one chapter devoted to each guy in each book, course I would have preferred more. I mean, if you're going to do it at all, get into it. Either that or leave out the other POVs altogether. I'm sure us readers could have struggled along just fine, even into the fourth book, with only the one POV as she learns what happens around her like always.
Things like this make me wonder if the publisher was paying attention. Of course, big publishers can't pay intimate attention to any one book, but really, one series should at least have the same editor. I'm convinced this was not the case. A professional editor isn't likely to allow such a drastic change in story structure so late in the course of a series. Or would they? Hmmm Maybe her editor isn't as picky as I am.
What do you think?
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I agree. I like third person close, myself. About the only point I can come up with for the second POV in the last book was to make it longer. Since it was on my Kindle, I can't give you a page count, but I'd say it was at least 1/3 of the whole book. I'd be all for making it a 3 book series and dropping the second POV altogether. It really didn't add anything to the story.
I see a lot more books that alternate between three or more characters, where some are told in first and at least one in third. And they're not always "balanced" as you pointed out, but scattered kind of will-nilly through the story. I'm never sure why writers do that, and it's jarring to me. But maybe modern readers don't have the kinds of expectations going into a book like I do, after decades of reading books that keep to one POV all the way through and, if they alternate POV characters, do it in a regular way. (Like LOTR.)
There are ways to do it right so it's not so jarring. LOVE Lord of the Rings. My genre inspiration.
I enjoy reading your posts but for some reason haven't commented before. (I almost commented on the one about writers needing to be sure their books are really ready for publication before they release them. It's a pet peeve of mine... Do you send your 5 year old out into the world? No, you wait until he's grown up first, then send them out with fear and trembling. But I was afraid I'd come across too mean-sounding. Anyway...)
I HATE POV changes that don't make sense, don't have some kind of consistency, or that just plain happen too often. I blame it on lazy writing. The author suddenly thinks it would be better to make a point in a different POV, so they do. No concern that it's jarring for the reader, that it pulls them out of the story. It's the easiest way for the writer to make the point they want to make, so they do it and leave the responsibility for figuring out what-the-heck is going on to the reader.
As for publishers and editors catching such things and demanding rewrites, I suspect that most manuscripts aren't read that carefully. If they are, apparently no one cares or the schedule is so tight as to not allow for rewrites. I'm a writer, myself, and I know that you can get to the end of a book and realize you have to make major changes in what you already wrote. Which can take many months, and still may not work out for the best. You may have to start again.
There was a time when editors encouraged writers to take their time and work like crazy to get the book right. I think that time is gone. Now it's up to each author to care enough about their story and the craft itself to spend the time getting it right.
Just my two cents.