The paperback is finally out on Amazon, which is another weight off my mind. The site of having several paper copies strewn around is still quite surreal, but I do quite like the feeling of having something physical to hand. As someone who buys way more ebooks than I do paperbacks, I would be the first to speak out about the legitimacy of the electronic medium, but I have to conceded that having a physical copy just seems more “real”.

The irony is that real world bookshops have never been so under threat. I had realised this in an abstract sort of way, but it was shoved in my face recently. Last weekend I was accosted in Foyles by a market researcher asking me about my book buying habits. From the direction and tone of the questioning they may have just asked me outright “Why do you keep buying from those Amazon bastards? Where is your loyalty?” I was aware that I had started to feel quite guilty, the kind I imagine I would experience had I ungratefully neglected to visit my grandparents in the old folks home. I promised I would think more carefully in future about my spending habits, before shamefully buying a whole heap of stuff online less than 12 hours later.

On an unrelated note, things are definitely slowing down in the run up to Christmas, (both at work and in life in general). This is just as well as I am absolutely knackered. However, I am aware that instead of making the best use of this extra time, I have fallen into bad habits about idling my time away and not doing anything productive. This is not necessarily a bad thing, and I consider myself still in the recuperation phase to some extent. Despite this, I do think that this time of year almost thrusts something down one’s throat about being a consumer. Eat this, buy that, gift those and above all spend, spend, spend. One of the things that putting the book together did was take me out of my old consumption habits and had me more focussed on being a producer and creator.

Now I believe that you require a balance of both to be effective. You can’t really write unless you have read a lot of other people’s’ writing. Directors get inspiration from the movies of others, and the act of consumption links us to others in some way that reinforces our need for one another. It’s the passivity that gets to me, but I am far too tired to worry much about it.