1914 Santa Claus in japan (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

One recent evening, my family had a very serious conversation regarding Santa Claus and just how he does what he does. (wink, wink)

So, with joy in our hearts and imaginations tuned up, here are some of the Santa theories we discussed. Please feel free to add a comment afterward with any theories we have forgotten.

Quantum Santa Theory – Santa uses wormholes to zip from one chimney to the next, thus eliminating travel time.

Clone Santa Theory – Santa has an army of clones he activates once a year to get all those goodies to homes around the world.

Tartis Santa Theory – Santa has his own time machine in which he can go back in time if he’s running late, thus ensuring everyone wakes up to presents.

Mass Hypnosis Santa Theory – We want to believe! So much that we convince ourselves that he really does exist, even when those nasty credit card bills arrive. Especially when frantically wrapping on Christmas Eve (surely Santa’s elves can wrap these things!?) He really does exist. By purchasing gifts ourselves, we’re not admitting we don’t believe, we’re just being prepared.

Quantum Entanglement Santa Theory – There are actually pairs of Santas working in duality on opposite sides of the earth. Two particles (or Santas) are connected and move in response to each other instantaneously. That’s why the jolly gift bringer can be reported seen in Russia and Canada simultaneously.

007 Santa Theory – Just like Bond, Santa can slip into anywhere, leave the goods, and get out undetected. How could such a round man be so dexterous? Centuries of training. Oh, he likes his warm milk stirred, not shaken (too much foam, he’s in a hurry.)

Invisible Santa – Adults no longer have the naive joy required to see Santa Clause. Only children can. And only children who are really, really good and really, really lucky.

It’s Magic! Santa Theory – Go ahead, suspend your disbelief, it’s Santa Claus! In his world, anything can happen.