Everyone has heard the saying, “Sticks and stones may hurt my bones, but words may never hurt me.” Although children have been equipped with such a fictitious defense mechanism, this

statement could not be farthest from the truth. Words are powerful and they have the potential to harm children drastically. Parents cannot control the ridicule and criticism that their children are exposed to at school, but they can determine the language used inside of the home.

Children start to absorb all elements of their surroundings at a very early age. In fact, listening and observing the activities and conversations in their surroundings dictate their speaking patterns, behaviors, and development. Negative statements around or directed toward any child has the ability to dampen their spirits. Comments stated jovially such as, “He is bad,” or, “She is going to be trouble,” possess the ability to shape the child’s behavior. Constantly hearing negative comments about behavior, intellect, and even physical attributes will eventually sink

into the conscious and unconscious thoughts of each child. Some children will conform to the stated expectations and literally make it their duty to behave as such. Instances such as this are unfortunate because each child should have the opportunity to decide their individual paths without negativity hanging overhead.

On most occasions, damaging statements are not conscious attacks on the child. Being mindful of nonchalant statements during casual conversations, arguments, and interventions will guarantee that thoughtless remarks are not used to set behavior expectations for the child.  Addressing situations should not be avoided, but the language used during reprimands should not be

structured negatively, but with the expectation of improvement. Instead of saying, “You are bad,” say, “Your behavior has not been desirable and we know that you are capable of following the rules.” Statements that emphasize the expectation of improvement lets the child know that their behavior does not restrict them to behavior labels and can be a greater person each day.