September of this year, I had an experience that altered my life's course. Yes, in the last three months of the year, something new and different occurred in my life. I received an invitation to attend a statewide book club conference. This was nothing out of the ordinary. I am an author and so it was a natural fit. Why wouldn't I want to connect with local book clubs? Attending this seemed to be a great opportunity for me. God had other plans. I participated in a workshop. The speaker was discussing how to rid your life of mediocrity. While she was still speaking, I allowed my mind to travel down memory lane. I thought back on some areas in my life in which mediocrity had crept in and taken a seat. I looked in the areas of finance, physical health and wellness, mental health and wellness and spirituality. In all of these areas, I realized it was time to do some reevaluating, all of which were necessary- none of which would be easy.

Thus, I began the journey and it has continued for the past three months. I decided that if I was going to stop this downward trend, I could not put this off any longer.

The PURGE

The first place I began is my emotional health and wellness. I realized that every area listed, all had one thing in common - me. I was the key. In order for me to become financially healthy, I had to change my relationship and my attitude towards money. In order for me to get physically healthy, I needed to move and become more active. In order for me to maintain my spirituality, I needed to become more active in church. Me, me, me!

The Next Step

In the process of studying, I found a 21-day online life coaching seminar from Vasavi Kumar. The class was titled Conquer - how fitting. I was moving right along through the assignments until i reached assignment #10, appropriately titled, Moving Past Your Past. In this assignment, Vasavi asked that we set aside a few hours to purge our "beast(s)"." We only had to answer two questions, "What are you still holding on to?" and "What is the lesson you found?" How hard could this be, right? Wrong! Once I began writing number one, instantly the pain started in my chest. I did not realize how broken my heart had become until those past hurts resurfaced. Boy did they ever! All of those painful memories that I thought were gone had somehow been suppressed; tucked away into the innermost crevices of my mind and heart. Memories of prior molestation and other emotional trauma were boldly staring me in the face, daring me to take one step forward.

I stood up, spiritually and declared that I am victorious. I began to write in vivid detail every horrible thing that occurred to me, that was designed to destroy my childhood innocence. I wrote forgiveness prayers. Then the inevitable happened, I realized that one of my offenders were no longer alive for me to offer my forgiveness. This person had died almost 6 years ago. It was time to let go, so I did.
Stay tuned for Part II