It is January, 1st. Time for the dreaded “NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION” (cue thunder and lightning and scary music)

I decided to change it up a little. Instead of talking about what I plan on doing or changing for the new year, I decided to talk about what I have learned from the old year. Here is my list of nuggets of wisdom I have acquired over the previous 12 months. It just so happens I have one for each month. Yes I am that damn good!

1)A one year old child CAN use a cat as a weapon. Buyer beware.

2)Miley Cyrus licks a hammer and its considered artistic expression. I do it and Home Depot kicks me out. Apparently I should have went to Lowe’s

3)This world is too concerned with what people SAY that they ignore what is being DONE. A redneck duck caller spazzes out about gays and the people are up in arms, yet a government slowly destroys the foundation of a 200 plus year-old republic through incompetence and not a peep. And I’m the strange one!

4)Watching too much Caillou CAN make you clinically insane.

5)People-watching at Walmart is much better than any reality show currently on TV.

6)Forget Bigfoot, the Loch Ness monster or the Jersey Devil. The Pants Fairy is alive and well and has stolen all my son’s pants.

7)Whoever said you can get rich by writing was trying to sell something

8)Whoever invented the “Terrible Twos” was not around for the first two years. Oh and the 18 that follow.

9)Apparently the government frowns on selling children on Ebay.

10)It seems that bath salts are not actual salt.

11)Nope…I can’t still figure out my DVR

12) Spaghetti Tuesdays can fall on a Wednesday.

Happy New Years to all of my readers, followers, stalkers. Especially my probation officer. I know its tough to keep up with me sometimes.