Oh, me-oh-my, how we crave to be right! I know I do, and I see it in so many others. The thing is, that need to be right is stopping us from letting our genius out into the world. Being right really is NOT what we should be shooting for.

This desire to be right – and to make sure everyone else knows we are right – does more harm than good. It keeps us from moving forward. We are stuck back here, repeating to whoever will listen, with heels digging into the dirt, and the end result is that here we still sit.

The need to be right is actually the fear of being wrong.

Fear keeps us stuck. We fear being wrong because we fear looking foolish. That is the number one fear, beating out public speaking, going to the dentist, death, and anything else you are afraid of.

It’s crazy when you think about. We fear looking like an idiot. Somewhere in our youth, we said something or did something and were ridiculed. That forgotten pain is still lodged deep inside and now we spend a lot of energy trying to be right. That “protective measure” is trying to keep you from feeling that embarrassment. Most of our behaviors are there to protect us. The thing is, you don’t need that kind of protection anymore. You need the shield to come down and the encouragement to give it a go anyway, whether you are right or not.

Those who advance in life are the ones who have overcome their fear of not being right. They know they will not always hit the mark, yet they give it a shot anyway. They know they might mess up, but they get out there.

This year has started off with me doing plenty that was not right. And I’m still standing. When my husband and I first started dating, we joked that I was right 98% of the time. When it comes to song lyrics and television trivia from the 1970’s, I am.

I have learned to let go of my need to be right (even in songs and trivia – that was tough!) and it has helped me keep moving along. Sometimes it feels like I am off 98% of the time.

Six weeks into this new year and I think I have done just as much wrong as I have done right, yet I have accomplished more because I have released my self-imposed shackles of right. I still have the fear of doing it wrong, I still hate messing up, I still cringe at my failed attempts, and yet I am learning more than if I had played it safe and waited until I “got it right,”

It seems to me that in growing a business, and in life, there is plenty of wiggle room for what is right and what is learning curve. One of my mentors says that 80% of what they do in her company doesn’t work. It doesn’t stop them. They keep doing stuff. And the 20% that works, is over the moon successful.

I see many people stay stuck in a rut when it comes to a book. They want to get it right. They don’t want to look dumb. They get tangled up in details of what is the “right” structure instead of just trying to write a little something and see where it takes them. They are so afraid to put themselves out there. When it comes to a book, there is no right or wrong. Just express what you want to convey and the chapters can shape up accordingly.

Relax.

The only way you can do life wrong is by trying to do it all right. Cut yourself some slack. You are not perfect, yet you are. Even when you are not right.

So let go of pontificating and start conversing. Ask questions. Be interested. Learn. Be curious. Be open. No one has to agree with you. Own what you know without having to prove a darn thing to anybody else.

Share from your heart what you came here to say. Write a book, a poem, a song. Express how you choose. Let go of the need to be right. Let go of the fear on being wrong. There is no final exam. There is no judgement. The only judgement is that we put on ourselves and it’s time to lighten up.

Ask yourself: If I mess up today, what is the worst that can happen? What will happen if I am not “right”?

You might just find yourself enjoying more, connecting more, discovering more. Let me know how it goes!