So, like any author, I wasted a good many months trying to obtain an agent to rep Rolling Bones. After failing to convince any of them to even read the book, I began sending out this response to their form letter rejections:

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Dear Agent,

Thank you for your letter of rejection. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me representation for my novel, Rolling Bones.

I have been extremely fortunate in receiving multiple offers of rejection for my query letter. With declinations from so many promising and exclusive agencies, I am afraid that it’s impossible for me to accept all such refusals. I’m sure you understand.

Despite your qualifications and extensive experience in turning down queries, I find that your rejection does not fit with my needs at this time. This business is highly subjective; many people whose refusals I have not accepted have gone on to reject authors far better than I. So, keep trying!

I appreciate the opportunity to be rejected by you. Best of luck to you in refusing future queries. I look forward to working closely with you in obtaining a publisher for Rolling Bones, the funniest book you haven’t read.

Regards,

Jon D. Gold
rollingbonesnovel.com