Here’s an example of the difference between the internal point of view, (our intent), and the external point of view, (our impact).
Let’s say as part of a leadership program you have been asked to complete a questionnaire to learn more about your preferences. You indicate agreement with each of the following statements:


Most rules are simply guidelines.


I frequently do things on impulse.


People think I’m a non-conformist.


I like to be spontaneous.


Your internal dialogue may be something along the lines of “I am a fun, spontaneous individual who enjoys variety and can swiftly change focus to meet whatever new challenges come along.”
This is your intent. (You see where we’re going, don’t you?)
However, while some will appreciate this fun-loving, spontaneous approach to life, others will have a different experience. The impact of this approach results in a different label being applied to you, one that might be described as “inattentive to details, resistant to authority, ignores process, doesn’t plan ahead, is disorganized, and rarely thinks through the consequences of actions.”
Intent and impact are powerful when aligned.
Consider the dynamics of misunderstandings and conflict when determining the nature of the relationship you are experiencing and, wherever possible, give the benefit of the doubt.
Even when faced with adversarial behavior, ask yourself what the underlying intent of the other person might be.