Sally of Monticello: Founding Mother the story continues...

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Word came from Richmond that my brother Bob died. He wasfifty-seven.And word from Wilson Cary Nicholas was that he couldn’t meethis loan obligations. The debt now fell on Thomas’s shoulders.Estimates of his total indebtedness ran several times Nicholas’s notesfor twenty thousand.Young Jefferson has recovered from wounds of this pastwinter—miraculously—and was in substantial charge of hisgrandfather’s properties, some of which he must now sell, includingslaves.When I strolled by gatherings of house servants and field handson Mulberry Row, there was an eerie quiet this 7th day of August,1819. Sadness at the passing of Isabel Hern, yes, but they also sensedwhat lay ahead.In my current state of numbness, I relied on Beverly and Harrietto manage their younger brothers and to help me in the main house.Thomas has suggested delaying freedom for Beverly, nowtwenty-one, so I needn’t suffer a permanent separation just yet.Besides, Thomas enjoyed having our talented son play the fiddle toentertain guests and accompany dances.When Harriet reaches the age of majority in less than threeyears, brother and sister can help each other settle elsewhere, bothlikely passing as white. Thomas has promised to aid their running offin a way that won’t call law enforcers’ attention to them as freedslaves.Beverly was amenable to postponing his separation, realizingthat once he and Harriet left we would probably never see one anotheragain.While I was grateful Thomas invested himself as father to ourchildren, however lightly, I was aware of strains under which helabored to do anything these days.Financial panic affected everyone. Part of it was due to cropfailures, which we and the Randolphs have suffered on several farms.The bulk of it was due to banking issues I didn’t understandcompletely.Yet Thomas continued to indulge himself despite his huge debt.I’ve had mixed emotions about that.As an example, he was currently at Poplar Forest, finishing aplace he should never have undertaken to build. It was an expense hecould ill afford. But as a creative person—an architect—he was veryproud of the result: A functional dwelling in the shape of an octagon.Further, wagonloads of wine kept arriving at Monticello,shipments from Europe. They represented not only an extravagancebut reminded me of drinking’s harsh impact on the family. Thedetestable Charles Bankhead was a prime example.And Mr. Randolph has started tippling more heavily, partlybecause Thomas bypassed him in favor of young Jefferson, and likelybecause he was married to the contentious and father-focused Martha.Thomas seemed little affected by wine, which he regularlyconsumed in surprising quantity. Never a sign of intoxication. He alsodrank beer and hard cider. Perhaps it eased him through the universityproject, numbed the pain in his joints, moderated his headaches,helped control his bowels, and induced the rest he needed increasinglyin advanced age.On the other hand, it probably dulled what should have beensharp concern about his debts.Thomas’s ability to ignore that which he wished to ignore and toacknowledge that which he wished to acknowledge remained a puzzleto all.His dangerous financial condition appeared to have no consistentimpact on his outward behavior, only on his private health issues.Rather he experienced short-lived alarm but seemed to recover quicklyand never control the spending sinking him. He borrowed repeatedlyas though there was to be no final accounting.Because of the debt, and notwithstanding my station asThomas’s mate, my future has become a question mark.If he were to die, which will surely happen before I do, I couldgo on the auction block. Regardless of his instructions to Martha aboutme and my children, she might not honor his wishes. In that case,running away would be our only alternative.For now, however, I was committed to Thomas, come what may.I aimed to keep to that. Though we’ve taken no formal vows, we werewedded to each other all the same. We’ve talked about that on anumber of occasions, because as a lawyer he enjoyed probing thenuances of common law.Above all in our relationship he prized loyalty, and that waswhat we’ve given each other and would continue to give.Our condition today seemed a far cry from ten years ago, whenThomas returned from the Presidency. Though in his middle sixtiesthen, he was young in spirit, thrilled to be home, agile in hismovements, ardent in his lovemaking.This year he has suffered terribly from illnesses. And while agehas taken its toll, he remained relatively even-tempered, except oversuch catastrophes as that which young Bankhead inflicted on thefamily last winter.         I’ve never sought and will never seek love with another man.My half-sister whom he wed back in Seventy-Two couldn’t have madethat claim, for she’d been married to Mr. Skelton. And Maria Coswaycouldn’t have either, for she belonged to that libertine of a husband.In legal ownership and in free surrender of heart and soul, I wasproud to say I will have belonged only to Thomas Jefferson.But for the present, as Thomas faced financial ruin and declininghealth, the situation for me and all other Negroes on the mountain hasbecome a question mark.