I haven’t kept a journal since I was a little boy but something happened to me today that I felt compelled to write down. For the first time in my life, I broke the law.

Let me explain before you judge: it came about unexpectedly. A family day out, to a  car boot sale, and we were all feeling relaxed and happy. It was a cold day but we were wrapped up and ready; thoughts of hot chocolate and big greasy burgers on our minds. We even had a bet on: who could find the best loot! We both knew dad wouldn’t win, he’d spend his whole time at the vinyl stores and even then he’d only buy one record to add to his golden collection but he’d  continue on about his lucky find all the way home! It was meant in jest. What I didn’t know then was that today was the last time we’d all be together and happy; I’d have appreciated it much more if I had.

Of course, I’d saved my pocket money and was ready to win the bet! We split up so that we could look at things that interested us personally;  the idea was that we’d meet up again, compare our loot and share lunch. Winner would get a large drink of whatever they wanted. I’d already decided that I’d have a huge hot chocolate with everything sprinkled on top: marshmallows, sprinkles, cherries, you name it!

After browsing through several open-boots, I came across one that was selling all the things that I love most: graphic novels, games, posters, movies… I’d hit the jackpot (I couldn’t have been more wrong). I was so excited – they had some real collectors’ magazines and I picked the best. I deducted the cost from my money and worked out that I could afford a poster too and even a video game! I began to hand my treasures to the seller, when a large woman pushed me aside to aggressively reach for something. How rude. I attempted to give her a mean stare but one look at her beady black eyes had me frozen, it was as if there was nothing behind them, they were cold, empty and lonely. They gave me the creeps. She didn’t even apologise, instead she rummaged about through the sale items causing some to tumble. This was when the old game, what I then thought was Monopoly, fell from its perch and I reached out to stop it falling. This is when my luck changed, for the worse. The seller thought I wanted to buy it and bagged it up with my magazine, this meant that I could no longer afford the video game, only the poster! Okay, so why didn’t I just say it wasn’t mine, right? Well, the guy looked so pleased to be selling it that I didn’t want to disappoint him. I’m too nice, or rather I used to be too nice. He was probably thinking what a mug I was for buying a stupid old board game. 

On handing me the bag full of purchases, my mood dropped. I had been excited to have all three desired items and now I was stuck with an old, smelly second hand game that would never be played – it probably had lots of missing pieces too! This is one of the many strange occurrences of the day; the large woman fixed me with those eyes and, I’m not kidding, she smiled at me. It wasn’t a pleasant smile. It was a smile that left me feeling as if I had been accosted by a mad woman and it made me shudder. I just wanted to get away fast but it wasn’t time to meet mum and dad yet.

Hurriedly, I made my way to another car-boot, just to kill the time. It was selling old collectable football cards. It made me smile because this is something dad and I used to share but somehow I’d grown out of it since I hit the teenage years. I was looking through the stacks for the sake of my younger self. I was aware that some of these were worth much more than the guy was asking, especially if you sold them on eBay; I got lost in the past as I flicked through players past and present.

The time was soon eaten by this simple joy and I found myself wandering over to the food stand to meet with mum and dad. Sure enough dad was clutching his precious vinyl and mum had only bought an old Stephen King novel – all bets were off: I’d, hands down, won the extra large hot chocolate. The day was suddenly looking up again and all thoughts of the rude black-eyed woman had been erased from my head.

That was until we were driving home. I discovered a valuable and collectable football card in my pocket and please believe me when I say: I had no recollection of putting it there. I had never stolen anything in my life and I felt a little sick. How had it happened?

Then another peculiar thing happened; I justified it by suggesting to myself that the collectable made up for the fact that I’d been forced to buy that Monopoly board. A bad decision. The game manipulated me in to make many, many bad decisions after this but we’ll come to that in good time; this was merely day one of a long, arduous, psychological battle. I didn’t know that then but now, a month later, I wish I’d taken the card back and I wish, with my whole heart, that I’d never bought that game.

One mistake often leads to another…

To be continued