Dear IT Recruitment Consultant,

For the purposes of this letter, I’m going to assume that you are one of the tiny minority of members of your profession who have some integrity and ability. Unfortunately for you, you have chosen a career with a deservedly dreadful reputation. Most IT recruitment consultants are no better than a combination of pimp and double glazing salesman.

But you’re not one of this majority. You can have a conversation with me where I don’t need to explain everything to you in words of one syllable. Repeatedly. And you have a unique source of amazing candidates unavailable to any other recruitment consultant and who would be just perfect for me.

So how do you get to talk to me?

Well this is where it gets difficult I’m afraid. You know that you’re one of this tiny minority, but I don’t. And unfortunately all of you claim that you’re different from all the rest. How do I tell the difference between someone who really does have a brain and the vast majority who just claim to?

Well, I’m sorry, but there is exactly one way to achieve this, and that’s to be good at your job. It’s a long, slow path, but eventually someone I trust will recommend that I talk to you. And if I need to, I will.

What you absolutely do not do is call me. Or e-mail me. Or try to link to me on LinkedIn (especially not by lying and claiming to be my friend or an ex-colleague in order to avoid paying LinkedIn). Or try to get in contact in any other way whatsoever.

My problem is not that I don’t know enough recruitment consultants. Nobody who has spent more than a few years in IT can possibly fail to know many (many!) recruitment consultants. I have found a small set that I trust, respect, and will work with again (you see – I do know that some of you are different).

I don’t want to be introduced to any more. There are too damn many of you, and most of you aren’t worth even the 60 seconds of my time it takes to tell you to go away. Not that it ever takes 60 seconds, because you always have to followup and tell me why I’m wrong about you and you’re different from all the rest. And ignoring you doesn’t work either, because you’ll just try again. And again. And again.

I will never do business with any recruitment consultant who cold calls. Ever.

So please stop? Please?