Okay, so I get this email from my dad this morning. It says, "Thanks for your nice wishes on our anniversary. I feel so lucky that your mother and I have had forty-seven years together. Tomorrow is your mom's first day back at school and I'm going to Burning Man with the Kushners."

ESQUEEZE ME?

Okay, so I'd get if he was going to play golf with the Kushners, or perhaps a few days in the country with the Kushners, or even, in the craziest stretch of my imagination, a cruise to Alaska with the...