71. Friends
“Who should be our friends,” asked the first disciple, “given that we communicate best with those who try to go to the next level?”
“It is true that it is easier to make friends with those you can communicate with,” replied The Enlightened One. “But that doesn’t mean that you can’t have friends who are not going to the next level or who hold a different view.
“Real friendship is based on trust, which is more about action than communication. If you trust someone, even though you cannot fully communicate with them, then you can be friends. Make sure you also return the trust they put in you.
“Trust does not come from what you say but from what you do, so the strongest element in a friendship is what the friends actually do. It is the reliability of people going to the next level that makes such strong friendships between them, not just their ability to communicate openly with each other.
“Friendship comes in many levels, from strong through to weak. Weaker friendships can be formed when there are not too many challenges for the relationship. In these, communication is usually restricted to non-sensitive and agreed areas so it doesn’t get out of hand and damage the relationship. With stronger friendships communication can be more open: the friends can safely discuss topics across many areas, even when they don’t agree, as their trust in each other overcomes any differences of opinion. The trust is based on the person, not what they think about things.
“The most satisfying friendship is the one where you trust the other person and can also communicate openly with them in many areas. For us that means communication based on going to the next level, as we enjoy that the most, but this doesn’t mean we should rule out having great friendships with people who are not going to the next level. Where there is trust then that is where our best friendships will be found.”
“Thank you, Enlightened One,” said the disciple. “I will base my friendships on trust first, and communication at the next level second. In that case I would like to be friends with you, if I may.”
“Certainly you may. You are most welcome,” said The Enlightened One.
“Thank you, Enlightened One. In that case may I stay?” asked the first disciple.
“Of course you may,” replied The Enlightened One.
“It is true that it is easier to make friends with those you can communicate with,” replied The Enlightened One. “But that doesn’t mean that you can’t have friends who are not going to the next level or who hold a different view.
“Real friendship is based on trust, which is more about action than communication. If you trust someone, even though you cannot fully communicate with them, then you can be friends. Make sure you also return the trust they put in you.
“Trust does not come from what you say but from what you do, so the strongest element in a friendship is what the friends actually do. It is the reliability of people going to the next level that makes such strong friendships between them, not just their ability to communicate openly with each other.
“Friendship comes in many levels, from strong through to weak. Weaker friendships can be formed when there are not too many challenges for the relationship. In these, communication is usually restricted to non-sensitive and agreed areas so it doesn’t get out of hand and damage the relationship. With stronger friendships communication can be more open: the friends can safely discuss topics across many areas, even when they don’t agree, as their trust in each other overcomes any differences of opinion. The trust is based on the person, not what they think about things.
“The most satisfying friendship is the one where you trust the other person and can also communicate openly with them in many areas. For us that means communication based on going to the next level, as we enjoy that the most, but this doesn’t mean we should rule out having great friendships with people who are not going to the next level. Where there is trust then that is where our best friendships will be found.”
“Thank you, Enlightened One,” said the disciple. “I will base my friendships on trust first, and communication at the next level second. In that case I would like to be friends with you, if I may.”
“Certainly you may. You are most welcome,” said The Enlightened One.
“Thank you, Enlightened One. In that case may I stay?” asked the first disciple.
“Of course you may,” replied The Enlightened One.
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