Passing the age of fifty – several years back now – became something of an unpredictable milestone for me in many ways …. Once I recovered from the initial shock that I was passing through middle age at a rather alarming rate, the only resounding conclusion I managed at the time was I wasn’t ready to be old. But if I wasn’t prepared to grow old, then I decided I might at least consider growing up. Not quite yet ready for a ‘bucket list’ I opted instead to re-examine my first fifty years with the intent to re-visit some of the mistakes I’d made in an effort to discern something worth carrying into the next half of my life, and first thing I realized right off the bat was there is a profound wisdom embedded within God’s plan with respect to how we age.

Now I absolutely hate gray hair – on me – as well as wrinkles and a sluggish metabolism as much as the next person. Thus I fight back the visible signs of aging with all the money and might I can muster on a daily basis, but there is something uniquely wonderful that happens when aging forces you to slow down to the point you begin to notice certain things you might have otherwise previously overlooked. Following is an important list – in no particular order – I’ve compiled over the last few years that I like to refer to as gems or pearls of wisdom that can only come with age ….

1) Never pass up an opportunity to extend kindness, as it has the power to lift one’s spirit in ways and manners you might never have dreamed imaginable.

There is so much negativity pervasive within society that it’s often difficult not to become cynical, but a simple act of kindness has the power to alter one’s brain chemistry – thereby releasing endorphins – which give someone a sense of well-being that might not otherwise have been possible.

2) Always attack any assigned task as if your life depended upon it, because your efforts won’t go unnoticed, and that’s what will set you apart from the others who insist upon doing the bare minimum just to get by, because they fail to see the importance of doing a good job.

I see examples of it every day …. young people actually sitting on the job looking bored, checking their cell phones and texting friends while within plain view of co-workers and employers. To them this job’s just a brief layover, a stepping stone or pocket change until they get where they’re really going, but they fail to consider that next employer’s going to need a good reference and whether or not they land that next job they really want will depend upon their previous job performance. But besides all of that, developing a strong work ethic is something that will serve you well for the rest of your life.

The only way I’ve ever gotten ahead had little to do with how I looked, how much education I had or how smart I thought I was at any given moment, but it had everything to do with the fact I was willing to work harder than anyone else without complaining. In this respect silence is golden.

3) When someone tells you goodbye meaning they want out of a relationship, let him or her go …. the right person will stay and fight for your survival even when it’s hard. They do so because they value your uniqueness among others and are therefore willing to suffer just a little for the sake of true love.

Though certainly difficult to accept, someone who has already moved on in his or her heart cannot be convinced otherwise …. even with sound reasoning. To attempt to do so, only diminishes your self-respect and at best only forestalls the inevitable. Therefore the quicker you’re able to gain acceptance, the faster you move on to a healthier place.

4) Always strive to maintain a healthy lifestyle, as the importance of good overall health can never be underestimated. It’s easy to feel invincible in your youth, but the body has a way of paying you back for previous foolish choices as you age.

Occasionally we all feel the need to kick up our heels a little bit as a means to live dangerously, but the secret is to recover and return to healthy living as quickly as possible so that bad habits remain the exception and not the norm.

5) Always work toward maintaining a good attitude. When it comes to attitude, regardless of the situation we have only two choices …. good or bad. A good attitude will make even the worst predicament seem manageable, while a bad attitude will undoubtedly make everything appear worse than it is.

You know how when you look out your driver’s side window into your rearview mirror and read the faint print objects in mirror are closer than they appear? The same holds true with attitude in that any set of circumstances will be magnified or made smaller depending upon how you choose to look at them. In the end, I’ve found that a good attitude is something that will carry you when nothing else can or will. Sometimes you simply have to choose to be happy.

6) Believe in something greater than yourself …. it’s a big world we live in, and oftentimes it feels like there are far more bad days than good, but having faith in something much greater than mankind can sustain you through even the worst of times.

Sometimes it helps to realize life is not always about being happy or content within ourselves, but it is continuously about growth and learning. Thus most of our real growth occurs only when we are suffering. Forced with no other choice than to go outside of ourselves for the answers we need, we gain greater insight into the human condition and why it is we are here.

7) Hold on tight to your sense of humor. Harry Ward Beecher got it right when he coined the phrase, “Laughter is the best medicine.” Murphy’s Law pretty much dictates that despite our greatest efforts, some days will still be frustrating and difficult to bear, but if you can learn to laugh about it while keeping in mind tomorrow is another day, it makes shaking it off that much easier.

Laughter has the power to lighten any mood and infuse any situation with an energy all its own. Have you ever wondered why we’re drawn to someone who makes us laugh? It’s because they make us feel good in a manner that becomes infectious. Whenever you laugh you instantly feel like you’re having fun, and we can never have too much fun

8) Whenever possible, try not to project your lifestyle choices onto others. Our DNA determines who we are, therefore what is considered truth for one doesn’t necessarily apply to another. Same as you would not want anyone telling you how to live, no one else does either.

But most important, think how much nicer a place the world would be if we just accepted people for who they are without feeling the constant need to judge. Freedom would thus take on an even deeper and more profound meaning.

9) If you are going to judge, then I suggest you judge yourself first, as well as how your actions – both big and small – affects others. Take a moment to ponder do you help lift other’s spirits? Or do you bring them down?

It’s worth remembering you’ll never have to regret the good you do, and the subsequent return on your investment just might prove to be priceless.

10) Cultivate good friends and family all the days of your life, because they will give your life texture and meaning in a way the conspicuous acquisition of material things cannot. These relationships – the ones we establish and then continue to nurture – are the real legacy we leave behind. Material things will go into an estate that will be divided up and either retained or sold by your heirs, but the love you leave behind will be passed from one generation to the next thus giving you a kind of immortality that continues to live on long after you’re gone.

That’s it …. my top ten. I’m sure there are many others, but these are the first ten things that came to mind when I sat down to write this piece. Thus my final conclusion has journeyed back in circular motion to where it first began. There is wisdom in aging …. if you’re willing to slow down just long enough to take notice and then allow it to enrich your life.

Growing up doesn’t have to mean growing older …. at least not in conventional terms of how you look and feel, because with wisdom comes a beauty that shines from within.