Dear My 20 year old self.


In a little over two months time we turn thirty.

I know it's not a birthday that we have looked forward to. It's that age where we're supposed to become a mature, proper adult... and act like one. Not exactly something for a self confessed perma-kid to be looking forward to right?

Of course, you don't have to worry about that for another ten years. You still have your twenties, and the rollercoaster that they promise to bring.

I won't share any spoilers, that wouldn't be fair. But I will share with you a few things that I have learned, and that you will too. Things that will come gradually as the years pass. Things that make me who I am now, compared to who you are back then.

So here goes.

1. NOBODY CARES. 
That sounds a little harsh but it is true. I can't remember where but I read it once and it stuck with me. Nobody actually cares as much as you think they do. People are not staring at you on the street. People are not sat around thinking about what you said, or did. Unless it's something massive they will forget as soon as something else happens. So don't avoid doing or saying something for fear of "never living it down". Trust me... Nobody really cares. Or won't for long.

2. I'M NOT AFRAID
 Be it travelling, a new haircut or doing something that I have never done before. Sitting around weighing up the pros and cons wastes time. Get out there and grasp opportunities to do things with both hands. Experiences are what makes life full, not considerations.

3. I KNOW MY OWN MIND
Speaking out about my opinions is liberating. Sure, people get upset if my views clash with theirs. That is fine, they're entitled to their views too. But I know my mind and at 29 I don't feel the need to change my opinions to make other people happy.
On the other hand, if they can offer a good argument as to why I am wrong my mind can be changed. Views should always be fluid depending on the evidence.

4. I KNOW WHAT I WANT. 
From the big things like a degree, or that dream career. Or the small things like a choc chip frappe. I find it easier than ever to make decisions about what and who I want in my life. At twenty I was happy to just go with the flow. At thirty I am perfectly comfortable saying no when the flow isn't going in the direction that I want.

5. I KNOW MYSELF. 
I know my limits. I know when I am tired, or hungry. I know when I don't want to be in a club at 2am and would rather be at home with a blanket and a good book. That's my prerogative and comes back to the points that I have made above. Approaching, and hopefully into, my thirties is a liberating time when I am comfortable in my own mind and body to say no, to say I want and to say stuff this, I'm going to sleep at 9pm.

I've mastered these things through my twenties. I've learned to be my own person and to not worry about what other people think of my choices. Because they're mine and I own them both good and bad (and trust me your twenties will be filled with bad choices).

Now I am looking forward to my thirties and all of the things that I will learn now that I am past the peer pressure (just one more shot, you won't vomit), the drama and the focus on making people like me.
I'm looking forward to ten years of people either liking me or not (up to them), experiencing the world and the things it has to offer, and going to bed whenever I want because the club is still going to be there even if I do leave early.

Here's to getting older!

Cheers