To meet the man who is right for you, you must be open to connect with him. This does not mean you decide – I’m open and ready to meet him, now where is he? To open yourself to connect with the right man requires that you change your way of being and focus solely on your journey in the present.

The geisha did not sit around worrying and waiting for a man to notice her. Men sought her ought because she made herself unique and she stood out over other women. Every day she focused on developing herself to be the best woman she could be in the present. She practiced each aspect of her craft with seriousness and awareness while making it appear effortless. As exhibited in the tea ceremony performed by the geisha and reflective of Zen Buddhism, the focus for the geisha was not the end result, but the journey itself. By being aware and her best in the present, the geisha naturally attracted men. To be in her presence was to have one of the most exclusive experiences in Japan.

To open yourself for the right man, you must focus on developing your character and finding balance in your life at every moment in the present. Rather than regret your past or worry about your future, live every moment in the present. Let go of any past regrets with relationships. Don’t worry about whether or not you will be married in the future. Every person has another soul to which they are meant to be connected. Though, not everyone finds the person meant for them. To be with the right soul you must let go and not manipulate your future relationships. When you are in a good place and are a whole, fulfilled woman being your best in the present, you will not try to find a man for the wrong reasons, whether it is money, emotional support, or to fulfill whatever you feel is missing in your life. When you are a complete woman being your best every day, you remove barriers so that the man for you can connect to you.

To open yourself to connect with the one for you, you must change your way of being.

Live in the present. Don’t dwell on the past or focus on the future. You can’t change the past and you can’t control the future. Be the best person you can be in the present. This will open you up so that men can see the best you.

Don’t allow yourself to control or chase what you want. This only leads to manipulating your future path and ending up with someone who may not be right for you.

Remove negativity. Don’t allow issues or people get to you. Let go of negative emotions. Otherwise they will limit you and take you away from your true best self.

Create balance in your life – both emotionally and physically. When you are balanced, it is easier for you to be at your best.

Try not to be reactive. If a man decides he is not interested in you, then don’t allow it to get to you. Realize it is one less person to get in the way of distracting you from finding the one for you. Reactive emotion limits you from your true destiny.

Don’t allow yourself to be a victim. If you’ve had challenges with men, then put the experiences behind you and be the best woman you can in the present.

When you go on a date be your true self and allow your interaction to happen naturally. Feel for a connection, but if you don’t feel a connection beyond the surface, be careful. Too often women try to manipulate the relationship if a man has what she believes a woman should want.

Complete yourself rather than depend on a man to make you feel complete. From the beginning and in the long-term, a relationship will be strong if it is built on the foundation of sharing and connecting, rather than what one can provide for the other to feel complete.   

Every morning before you start your day, decide what you will do that day that is positive so that you can create good in your life.

To be your best self in the present, reflect on your life. Is everything you are currently doing a true reflection of yourself and what you want? Or are there things that you are doing because society or someone said you should? You can’t be your best unless you are true to yourself. Everything you do should be a reflection of your true self at your best. This is why it is important to live in the present. Focusing on the past and the future are distractions that take you away from who you are. The man who is meant to be with you can only find you if he is able to see your true self.

Yours in spirit,

Hanako

Author of The Geisha Secret