I like reading Darcy's thoughts, how he progresses from one step to another, using observations, reasoning and opinions he has heard expressed by others. You gave him some experiences on which he then based comparisons in thinking about Elizabeth. In canon he made a lot of changes to his views about society and its norms. JA told us little about how he came to a decision to make a change. We do know that he credits Elizabeth but don't read of the steps he took in P&P. Various authors have given us this and I enjoy such. I also enjoy those moments of sexual tension...a look, a raised eyebrow, a touch (accidental or not) and challenging conversations between ODC. Throw in some relevant poetry and I am sighing! One author also gave Darcy some angst with another titled suitor having teasing moments in conversation with Elizabeth and later proposing to her. I enjoyed reading of his jealousy in this version. Canon doesn't really have anyone proposing who might give Darcy a run for his money. We have thoughts that Col. Fitzwilliam likes her but he can't pursue her because of his own financial situation. Hope this helps and that I am not misreading what you are looking for with this page. Sheila

Hi Sheila! Thanks for your post. Yes, this is just the sort of thing I am looking for. You see, I share with others of my sex some instinctive feelings on how to go about attracting a lady, but experience has proven them to be sadly lacking in nuance and effectiveness, generally serving only to confuse the issue. In writing Darcy’s Tale, I took a man who had already been constructed so as to be attractive, and gave him a masculine back story; but to go from here, I feel a bit of study is in order. Short of engaging in a protracted study of bodice-rippers, I thought this forum would be more to the point. :-)

Jealousy, now, there’s an interesting topic; I have always shunned it myself—too proud, I suppose, to insist on my lady’s attentions if she felt disposed to give them to another. But I could see how it might add just a little spice. But it is too powerful a spice, in my opinion, and can ruin the stew. It also seems to feed on itself, becoming stronger over time until it cannot help but overwhelm the senses, and render the entire feast inedible.

Here’s another topic: bad boys. I know they have a certain allure, although that has always seemed to me to be totally counterintuitive. For guys, if I may presume to speak for all of them, bad girls are just for fun: a dalliance, an exciting interlude, a memory for one’s old age. But I sense that bad boys are somewhat different; a chance at salvation, perhaps? –or is it only the hidden wish to swoon under the influence of ungovernable attraction? Hey, this stuff is easier to write than I thought! ;-) seriously, though, it is such a common theme in romance, there must be some powerful drive that makes it endure when all common sense is against it.

Then there is my (sometimes) theory of men and women: I lived in a female household, with a wife and two daughters, and when my girls were at a certain age they developed a passion for horses. In watching them and their mainly female instructors, it occurred to me that women might look on men like horses: great, beautiful animals who could, with skill and patience, have their wildness tamed, and be gentled and controlled to become useful and purposeful. The more fiery the steed, the more skill and strength it takes to control him. Too fanciful? Just sour grapes from one who has accepted the yoke?

Thanks again for writing; it is always good to hear from you.

Stan

Jealousy can be handled in different ways. One can be jealous needlessly as in just because Lizzy smiles at Col. Fitzwilliam and Darcy wants her smiles only for himself. Or in being in a position, i.e. Darcy is in a level of society which will not allow him to court or woe Elizabeth, etc. so in seeing other men do such he is affected. Or as in canon, breaking with his supposed restraints, he proposes and is rejected and then has to watch (non-canon) another of his level court Elizabeth and not giving a damn about society's rules and also being a bad boy who has previously broken hearts and Darcy is fearing he intends to do so again...to Elizabeth. So his feelings are mixed: jealousy, anger, fear for Elizabeth, etc.

I have never wanted to "tame" a man but some of my favorite stories (and here we go back to the '70s) have some very bad beginnings to relationships, i.e., Kathleeen Woodiwiss's The Flame and the Flower. She has a rape by a man who is already engaged to another, whom he does not love, and then a forced marriage. And in Shanna (my favorite) she has a woman marrying a condemned prisoner in order to get her father off her back about marriage. But then the prisoner escapes the noose. So there are some bad boys I came to "love".

I would not put myself in those positions but it is romantic if handled right. Some relationships get off to such a bad start in books that I am actually a bit outraged that things turn around. In the movie "You've Got Mail" I always wanted revenge for his ruining her precious little bookstore. What does that say about me?

So, where are you going with this? Sheila

Where I’m going is I am writing a couple of new things, one of which is a story involving Colonel Fitzwilliam. He meets someone, goes away on a military assignment, and comes back to find she is being courted by someone else. But I have no idea who he is yet: Willoughby? Wickham? Worse?

And beyond that, I guess I am trying to understand the general question of how men and women see each other – which is probably a waste of time, as we have been struggling with the question probably as long as we have been around. I think about it a lot, though, as I worry about trying to write books from a male perspective yet directed at Austen fans, who are largely women; and every time I try to think about it, I come to a new set of conclusions. I was thinking today about a guy I knew in high school; I always thought he was a pretty good guy, until I saw him with his girlfriend: he treated her like dirt. I asked him about it later, and he laughed about how much guff she would take from him; to him tormenting her was a game. But I have seen other instances from both genders, where one partner did awful things, but was completely blind to the damage they were doing. Was my high-school acquaintance a jerk, while the others were just being human, or were they all jerks together? Mr. Ferrars hurt Elinor a lot, and only was kept from hurting her more by the providential iniquity of the lady he had attached himself to: jerk, or just human? It seems to come down to intent, but, as the crossword puzzles have it, good intentions are “pavers in Hell.”

I don’t know, maybe this is all just rambling while some hidden part of my brain figures out how to handle a plot problem; if so, I apologize for making myself free with your attention during my ramblings. But even if the endeavor is doomed to failure, a discussion of how women and men differ in their viewpoints would seem to be worthwhile, and as we all know and love Darcy (and the other male protagonists of the Austen universe), it felt like his various embodiments would be a good way to get going on the subject.

Thanks again,

Stan

Oh, this sounds like a duel for honor is coming about. Delicious. Col. Fitzwilliam has always been one of my favorites and I felt as much for him with no inheritance as for Elizabeth with no dowry. And he saw her worth before Darcy could acknowledge it to himself. Now, Willoughby has been portrayed as a seducer of Col. Brandon's charge/ward so a duel would be just desserts. And we know Wickham has seduced all the shopkeepers' daughters so, he, too, deserves to be strung up...vigilante style!

Your HS friend was/is a jerk. I saw that with one of my college friends and told her that if he could treat her like that before marriage it was going to get worse after marriage. I like/love a man (in today's culture) who is truly a helpmate. Many couples duel careers but so many men continue to expect the woman to have a duel job..."house-wife" as well as professional. I am so proud of my son who pitches in with everything and my daughter-in-law says, "You raised him right." During courting I hear women say they are impressed by verbal recognition of their worth: be it natural beauty, grace, manners, style, athleticism, consideration, etc. My son-in-law took me up on advice in telling my daughter she is beautiful every day. And he tells me what a good daughter she is! Compliments go far. Don't say, "She should know she is a good cook." TELL HER.

Another peeve I have is partners who air laundry in public. Put downs are so rude. And I see it so much today. Pink has a song in which it says "The one who wins is the one who hits the hardest". Why?

Rich people have therapists, others have chocolate...and I have your ear...LOL Now where is that bottle of wine? Sheila