Okay, life is, indeed, frantic.  Job, family, social life, volunteer commitments, parents, kids ... everybody wants something and now is already too late,  And we all plunge in with both with both feet and, often both hands.  Bext thing you know, boom:  you're overwhelmed.

And then there's the pressure, overwhelmed or not.  Parents, spouses, kids, neighbors, bosses and co-workers, other volunteers and, of course, you, all make demands on yourself, all of which require action NOW.  The pressure builds, you get grumpy or have an adult temper tantrum that sometimes involves denting your credit card or your car and sometimes you just fall apart and eat a pint of Ben & Jerry's.  Or two.  Nothing is solved and the pressure and demands remain so the cycle of frantic continues with you the worse for wear.

There is a very simple technique to help control the pace and make your life more manageable:  Put the tip of your tongue against the inside of your top teeth and make the "n" sound then purse your lips into a circle and say "o".  NO is a complete sentence.  You don't have to make excuses or explain how busy you are.  You smile and say, "No,"  If you're really feeling compelled to add something, you could say, "I'm managing my time."

There are obviously some circumstances in which you can't say "no."  It's a tricky thing to limit your boss' flow of work in your direction or your parents' or kids' real needs.  However, you can draw the line at "extras."  The boss says, "I'm looking for a volunteer to ..." Then you can not raise your hand.  Your mom,who doesn't drive, hints (broadly and often) that she'd really like to visit her high school best friend (who she talks to on the phone daily and who lives 150 miles away and who does drive) on your only day off.  Your kids want to play three sports because their friends are.  

The line comes between "need" and "want."  If someone really needs something (food, education, shelter, love, safety, etc.) obviously that's a priority.  If somebody wants something (candy, a treat right before dinner, soccer treats, idle conversation, an all-day road trip etc.)  then you can keep your personal power -- and peace -- and say "no."
Stay tuned, we'll expand on that in the next blog post.