My post on adventure was incomplete…I shared what we are no longer doing, but left out what we are doing.  Steve’s story is his own to tell, but I will share mine with you all.

When I walked out of our studio with defiance and a little bit of fear of what was next, I stumbled across a job posting that seemed tailor made for me. Yep, you read that right…a job working for someone else.

I looked at it for a while. A long while. And then I showed Steve who commented “that was made for you” and turned back to his work. So I looked at it again, paralyzed by a flurry of unexpected emotions. I was equal parts hopeful and uncomfortable in that moment.

The emotion that took me by surprise, though, was fear. It was coursing through my body and filling up every nook and cranny. It overwhelmed me and caused confusion. As I made an effort to understand why I was so afraid one thought began to take hold: I was afraid of what people would think, about the things they would say about me, and about what this choice would mean for me within my larger circle of industry friends.

I was afraid to be seen as a loser, a quitter, a cop out. I was sure they would think I couldn’t hack it, that I was bad at business, that I had messed up somehow. I was afraid that my legacy, my reputation, and my “name” (whatever that means) would be dismantled and I would be mocked in the very places I was once held up as a leader.

Wow. That was pretty darn vain of me. My ego had definitely taken hold in that moment and exposed some interesting things to me.

So I stepped away for a moment, but only a moment. You see, I believe wholeheartedly in this:

 when something scares you this badly –  when something takes you so far into a place of discomfort – you need to run towards it as fast as you can. 

And so I did. I applied that same day. Putting together a resume was interesting and I left a lot out (they later asked me to fill in the holes). I’m sure my cover letter was ridiculous and unprofessional. I was in uncharted waters not having applied for a job in over 15 years.

Slowly, one round after another, I made the cut. With each round that passed, I wanted it more. I tried not to care, but I did.

I got it. I got the job…I was the new Director of CMpro at Clickin Moms.

I have been part of this group since April, 2013 and I love it! I am able to use what I know about photography and what I know about business, innovation, marketing and more, to work within a wonderful organization of like minded people.

And boy, was I uncomfortable.

Discomfort, I have discovered, is a necessary part of work for me. It pushes me forward and spurs me to create. Discomfort tells me I am moving in a different direction that may or may not work, but must be tried. Having a “real job” is no less challenging than running the studio, in fact I think it’s more challenging in that there are so many other factors in play.

Best of all, I am able to be part of this group while also working on What If the Conference. These complimentary pursuits feed my entire soul…I am a teacher, a leader, an image maker, a team member, a mentor, a friend, an innovator and a dreamer. In other words, getting a job pushed me to be better at everything.

Get uncomfortable. It’s worth it.