Don't wear scents. Not even a little! Not even half your normal amount. Not even if your girlfriend is coming to pick you up at the airport! I smelled my seatmate from my first flight today three rows before I saw him and, like all women would, immediately started drafting an angry letter to Axe in my head. He was a nice enough kid, but being sensitive to perfumes made this a somewhat rough start to the trip.

If you board before the window seat, be prepared to stand up. I get it. I'm a woman, I'm reasonably attractive, and I physically CAN climb over your lap if I have to. That doesn't mean I really want to step over your body, waving my ass inches from your face, and risk tripping over your crap just to sit down. It's not my fault that the freakin' airlines haven't realized that they could just board window rows first, so please, don't just sit there staring at me, and don't gesture me over your lap, and don't get so settled in three seconds after sitting down that it's actually difficult to get up. What did you think was going to happen?
Share the overhead bins. We all get it: baggage fees are ridiculous, and there's no way you're paying all that when you just need enough stuff with you for a few days. But the limit is two personal items, and we're ALL carrying the max load of stuff. There is not enough room for you to shove both of your bags, your shopping bag from the airport mall, and your giant puffy coat into the overhead bins. Congratulations, you've now single-handedly taken up the space that was meant for three people. If you don't have room in your luggage to shove your coat after you arrive at the airport, then be prepared to hang onto it. And your purse or backpack goes under the seat in front of you. Yeah, it infringes on your foot space. Everyone's does. Get over it, pack lighter, or check your shit!

Stop playing with the seats. I confess, I have a bad back, and that makes me somewhat extra-sensitive to jostling. But since I look like a healthy young woman, I guess that just goes to show that you never know from looking at someone whether fiddling constantly with your tray table or seat pocket will cause them pain! Every time you put the tray table up and down, bang and bump said table, and shove an entire coke can into that seat pocket, I can feel it, and by the time we land, my back will have seized up into an iron-hard mass of pain from all the little jostling. I'm not saying don't use your table—we've all only got so much room, and you should be able to be as comfortable as possible in your limited space—but please, for the love of Lumbar, don't use the back of my seat as your idle fidget. 

Be ready to deplane. You felt the plane dropping. You heard the announcement. You saw the seatbelt light come on. And yet you seem to be surprised that the airplane has stopped moving and we're all being asked to get out! I know, I know, you just got comfortable, right? The time to find a stopping place in your book, check the seat pocket for personal items, and get your coat ready (because it's in your lap, not overhead, right?) was five minutes ago. And since you only have one thing in the overhead bins (right? RIGHT???) you should just be able to stand up (already holding all your stuff), open the overhead bin, grab your bag, and go! I realize not everyone has it that easy (maybe your bag is surprisingly heavy or you're very short or something), but when only five people in a plane full of nearly 300 seems able to coordinate themselves, I start to question humanity. Which leads me to...

Yield to the prepared. If you're on an aisle, then hopefully you stood up and started taking serious steps to escape as soon as we landed. Kudos! If you're in a more inner seat, though, you'll spend at least a few extra minutes in your seat while the people in the outermost seats clear the row. Now you jump up and claim your space, right? Well... wait a minute. That guy standing patiently in the aisle just a seat farther back than you? The one wearing a backpack, holding a carryon, and looking like his patience is strained? He's been done claiming his property and waiting to walk off the plane for at least ten minutes by now. It won't slow you down for more than a few seconds to just wait until the people who are ready to walk off the plane. When the flow of foot traffic stops (it won't take long), there is room for you to stand up, and you've done your part in clearing the congestion on the plane. Well done!

Or wait... politely. Or, maybe, you give up on everyone else using their heads, or you know your baggage is unwieldy, and you just want to take your time. You don't mind being the last person off the plane, and you've got a good book, so no need to rush! That's actually a perfectly valid position to take, if you're not blocking others into your row against their will. If I'm rushing to catch another plane, I'll be sure to let you know, but maybe I'm just hungry, exhausted, have to pee, and/or really want to stand up before my legs get stuck like this. I probably won't be impatient enough to demand that you get the hell out of my way... but you're being a nuisance. If there's anyone farther from the aisle than you, ask them if they mind waiting until the rush has died down. If they're in a hurry, stand up when it's convenient, step toward the back of the plane to give them room to get up, and then sit back down and resume your reading.