About four months ago (late to post) I got news from Harper Collins that they had had an offer in for the Spanish language rights to Follow Your Fantasy. I accepted – of course – but I sort of assumed nothing had happened and it had fallen through.

How I love photoshop. I hope the cover artist is forgiving.

Then I got my first half of half the advance and realised it is happening. Foreign Rights deals, I’ve realised are the best thing about the entire industry. You get actual money. An actual advance on sales. The gamble is all theirs this time and, if they’re right, you get royalties on top (also split 50/50 with the publisher). As far as I can tell you just get the occasional update on what’s going on, no say in anything at all and an obligation on their behalf to put it out  within a set time, at which point you get the second half of the advance.

It’s still pretty exciting though, opening up a whole new audience and turning on women (and maybe men) in God knows how many countries as this deal means transmission into all the Spanish speaking countries as well as the one I happen to live in. I’m guessing they’ll want it out to coincide with the Fifty Shades film in February 2014 but I really have no idea.

I couldn’t, even if they wanted me to, have anything to say about the translation but I wonder if they’ll tone it down. Will stories have to be softened for the new market? The book is pretty filthy and involves sex with no romance whatsoever. How scandalous. I’m not sure if that concept is appealing to other countries. I’m not sure it’s actually appealing to mine since I suspect the readership for wimpy-heroine-meets-troubled-but-handsome-stranger-who-coerces-her-passive-sexuality-into-fiery-abandon is more palatable.

It makes me wonder what escapism means to women nowadays. After all, guaranteed sex any day of the week is a given. Walk into any bar and, if that’s what you’re looking for, you can secure it before you’ve finished your drink. Men have it a lot harder (!) unless they’re gay and then the scene accommodates them far more than the straight scene does for straight men. I wonder if, therefore, for women the escape is in reading about great sex plus romantic attachment which is so much harder to find than casual sex which is constantly available to us.

But it’s just a thought. Personally I think any book just needs the right kind of marketing so people know what to expect and the right advertising so they realise they want whatever that thing is .

As for the translation of the language, will “fuck” become “shag” for example? Now, they happen to be about the only sex words I know in Spanish thanks to reading Bridget Jones in Spanish years ago. “Follar” means fuck and “hacer polvo” means make dust….of course. And the other day I learned that “francesa” (French) refers to blow jobs.

Sorted.

I’ve forgotten what cock is, but I know you have to watch out when ordering chicken and that in South America you want to be careful talking about shells because they are slang for cunts. And there is something about how you get the bus in South America as it means to fuck the bus if you use the Spanish way. I can remember neither way to say it so I should be OK on either continent. Loud, slow English is clearly much safer.

I have no idea if the word “moist” is as offensive in Spanish as in English. I’ll let you know if I find out.

**Or whatever that would be in Spanish. I can’t think what the imperative of “seguir” would go like.