• Perpetuity isn’t what it used to be, Rob Bernstein discovered on reading an advertising email: “Buy a one year perpetual license for Iron Speed Designer and receive an extra year of updates and support for free!”

• Lee Schlesinger was amused by a headline in the Boston Globe of 9 October: “Police detonate ordinance handed over by Cohasett resident”. Not just breaking the law but pulverising it.

• A subscriber who perhaps ought to remain anonymous reports “An email from our company’s CEO about a competition the company is currently running: ‘Any shops caught cheating will be illuminated’.”