I'm just about to start work on my next novel, which I'll probably release in three parts. It's already got a title, indeed it has done for a very long time... 'The Dead Winter Mountain Murders'. I'm working on the story plot and outline at the moment, though, to be honest, as with my earlier novel 'Grandad Miller, Serial Killer', I'll probably just start writing and see where it goes. I know how the book will be presented, it's format, and the themes that it will follow. There will be, I hope, some pretty gruesome murders on the way, but really, this story is about one person; Stephen Claymore Hartley... one of the most boring people on the planet.


Stephen is the person who bores you to death at a party, droning on and on about his medical ailments. I met someone exactly like that, just two nights ago. I've met countless others, exactly the same, over the years. Stephen is the person who dresses up like a twat for sci-fi conventions. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a bit of sci-fi, but I draw the line at dressing up like a fucking Klingon. Stephen is a man who enjoys boring music, which is fine in itself, but then he inflicts it on those around him, the people that he's supposed to love (if he's actually capable of that emotion). Stephen will bore you about his hobbies - golf, his illnesses, trains, his 'club-tie' collection - and then batter you to death with a concrete slab, and then throw up afterwards, due to his delicate stomach and all-round squeamishness.


If there's one thing more boring than Stephen, it's his girlfriend, Emma. I've not quite worked out her character yet, other than her general drabness. She's going to be awful. I've known lots of 'Emma's' over the years. We can all be boring bastards, every single one of us; I can bore the crap out of someone all night, if I'm in the mood. However, I want to take both Stephen and Emma to a completely different level... and with lots of blood and guts thrown in, just for good measure.


More soon!