While many say that going out into the world to fulfill your dreams is rewarding and oh so wonderful, in some case, many a few I’d like to say (but until that is confirmed, it’s just me) can cause, instead of the wondrous fulfillment, an anxiety disorder. Going out to another country to study had been a dream since childhood. Infusing yourself in new cultures, making all kinds of different friends, learning new things (come on the knowledge) and running from your old life (that’s a definite bargain) would seem like a dream come true, only for summer vacation to come and you going home an inconsolable wretch. It’s not that things went that badly for you, but the stress of it all took its tool. The beautiful places and new cultures were a bit hard to take in when it consisted of oil (the cultures) and water (you), they don’t mix. That pretty dream you had and that knowledge you digested from history books, tv shows and newspapers. Nu-uh, don’t confuse what you were led to believe by your unconscious mind with that of reality. Friends… you meet a lot of people, hard to make them when they stick with their own groups (mostly ethnic) and f you do make them, they’re not all that close are they? You learn lots of new things, but until then you go from one moment where you want to bangs your head against the wall for various reasons to breaking down crying for those same villainous reasons. Take a breaker in that department I’d say. School work, same thing happens as previously mentioned including numerous sleepless nights (months), bad diets (16 pound gain), no time for going out or friends and so on. At the end of it all you realize that going out into the world means getting premature grey hairs because you don’t depend on your parents anymore (with the exception of money, but you have to manage it properly or else), solving your own problems and creating many problems since you’re a moronic air-headed clumsy idiot. The number of friends you love and depend on, you can still count them on one hand (3, 2 of which are bfff), but you don’t have time for them anymore and sometimes you ask yourself if you are still as close as before. And the new places you visited (like really truly visited) are in a number of 2: the one you live in and the one you usually shop in. At the end you are an anxious mess that worries about every single small thing for days straight, not sleeping and pretty much getting a panic attack every 5 seconds (may lead to premature visit to heaven or the way down, depends how it goes) and crying over every single mistake you made, in other words fall into depression.

Lesson learned? Do not make serious heavy impact decisions believing that it will all be nirvana for you. Be heavily prepared mentally, emotionally and physically. I guarantee you will be scarred for life, depends on you wherever it’s a good one or bad one.