I’ve been pondering this whole ‘don’t buy your kids gendered toys’ message and the huge outcry in Australian society over such a ‘crazy’ message. I don’t have studies and research to offer, but I do have personal experience. I remember wanting a Barbie doll when I was a kid. My mother (as far as I remember) hated them and wouldn’t ever buy me one. Instead, I had other dolls and heaps of lego and toy cars to play with. And maybe due to that, maybe due to my parents’ refusal to ever let me limit myself or conform to society’s expectations of a girl, I grew up not realising that I was a ‘feminist’ – I merely expected the sort of equal treatment I’d always been granted by my parents. It appalled me when I started to realise just how few of my peers had been given the same sort of start in life.

No man has ever been dumb enough to raise his hand to me in anger (kickboxing classes don’t count). I’ve never suffered from workplace inequality, despite working primarily in a male-dominated field. I’ve never felt as though I should hide my intelligence or improve my appearance to attract a man. Sexual harassment has never lasted more than a couple of minutes (there are always easier and less sarcastic options). I’ve never avoided becoming physically strong out of fear of becoming unattractive. I’ve never been raped or mugged. In case you don’t follow my point – this makes me quite unusual in the ranks of womankind.

Here’s my point. You might not mean to limit the children around you. Forcing them into gender roles is probably the last thing on your mind. But you might be amazed at just what messages you’re unintentionally giving those children about their place in the world, and affecting their confidence in facing it. I was given the gift of mindful, careful, non-biased upbringing, and shielding from sexist attitudes. To me, that’s one of the most valuable gifts that you can give a child – to tell them in spoken and unspoken ways every day that they can be whatever the hell they want, society be damned.