So, apparently my alter-ego has been doing well. While I sit here pondering about declining book-sales and secretly dreaming of a illustrious career as a famous, critically-acclaimed author, he, my dear-antithetical-yet-inseparable friend, is slowly and steadily building and polishing his scientific career (it’s quite mediocre though, trust me). He recently made it to the Danish TV etc. (link)

Obviously, he’s quite excited and would like to take over the keyboard from the next paragraph of this post. If you get bored or something, don’t blame it on me. I assure you that I allow his emotional babble on this blog only occasionally. 

I can’t really be thankful enough to Tnahsin for letting me use his very famous shitty blog with like 2000 20 followers. I don’t know if you’re interested in my current life-status but I’m nearing the end of my PhD, and the only thing that I’ve learned in all these years is that I know next to nothing. While I too, like Tnahsin, constantly feel the insignificance and mediocrity of my life, good days do show up once in a while.

Nearly a month ago, the local Danish TV channel approached my university to make a small series on “Foreign Researchers in Denmark”. Considering there are very few individuals in Denmark who are foreign and pursuing research, a coordinator from our department casually recommended me to show up in front of the camera. As much as I would have liked, this had nothing to do with me making a breakthrough or stumbling upon something extraordinary in my PhD. Nevertheless, this was quit an experience.

Spending three hours with a camerawoman and a professional journalist, talking on a number of social/cultural issues, just to make a three minute video was nothing less than thrilling. Likewise, not noticing the camera, acting perfectly-natural-and-relaxed, and trying my best to not appear/sound stupid were one of the most difficult things. No matter how much I thought about what I would say in case I was asked this or that, the stuff that I ended up blurting out was unexpected, unrehearsed, and all done without any retakes! It was a news piece after all and not a short film. 

An hour ago the snippet came on the local TV channel during their prime time news hour. Probably, someone at the channel liked the snippet enough to post it as a separate mini news too! A few minutes ago, my supervisor texted me saying “…it is very good,” fully aware of the little joke I made about friendly bosses. Little hierarchy, low income-wage gap, and high gender-equality are central pillars of Danish society. No wonder happiness comes naturally to the citizens. 

I remember the day after the shooting, I was exceptionally joyous and beaming about like a little humming bird. And then that joy faded. Now, after a month, as I get to see the final product and hear the wavering, hopeful voice of my past self, part of the original excitement has returned.

Tomorrow, this feeling too will fade. I and my alter-ego (Tnahsin, with his delusions of grandeur) will probably end up leading insignificant lives. Such is our destiny. But these occasional sparks of joy? No wall of fate can stop them from seeping in. There will always be a crack or two in the ever-enclosing, gloomy walls around us. And no matter what life does to you, happiness will find its way.