My screams rang across the field as the slick grass ripped through my fingers sending my arms out from under me. I landed flat on my back, the force of the fall sending shocks down my spine and a gust of air through my lungs. Above me the sky was a kaleidoscope of pinks and oranges laying heavy beneath an expanse of inky blue, a shade that graced the Northeast with its presence for a few short weeks right before the winter chill greyed it out. I stood, brushed the dampness through the pleats of my skirt and tried to recover from the botched cartwheel hoping that no one had noticed me from among the crowds pouring into the bleachers. 

On the main field, the Harrisport Howlers were warming up in full gear. The burgundy of their uniforms matched the autumn landscape that had rooted itself in Upstate New York. I spun on my heels and gave them my back, trying not to let the flush in my face embarrass me further and took my place with the squad already doing a quick run of the next routine.

"Why are we even bothering?" I asked going through the motions. Right punch up. Clap. Left punch up. Clap.

"You’re just bugged because you fell on your ass," Emma replied from her place behind me.

"Gem, wow," Charlotte turned to me while the rest of the squad got into a diamond formation. She appeared lost in thought as she adjusted the grotesquely oversized bow perched atop her perky ponytail. "You of all people should know how important morale is. And cheering and football are like," 

"Pointless to play when it’s against your own team," I ran my palm over my scalp feeling all the stray ends, a telltale sign that my cheer hair was nowhere near as perfect hers. I pulled the ankle of my bad leg to give the quad a stretch. Not only had the scar returned but it had the stiff ache of freshly healed tissue. At least the squad had voted to include cropped leggings to the uniform, in addition to the bows. On the downside, Charlotte also got to pick them. Two words: gold spandex. 

"It’s not for us. It’s for them." Morgan, ever the optimist, said tilting her head to the clusters of parents and students huddled on the first two benches.  

"Well, that is one big stinking reminder that no one wants to step foot in Harrisport," I said and let my eyes drift for a brief sidelong glance to the empty Away side.

"If we just put on a show other teams will realize that nothing is wrong here. We’ll play a good quiet game and prove that there aren’t any demons here," Charlotte clapped out eight beats prompting the pyramid formation. I dropped down to my position at the base and adjusted myself until my back was stable. My palms sank deeper into the wet soil as everyone began assembling themselves. When it was clear, Morgan began her ascent to the top.

"We just think there are no more demons," Emma grumbled beside me. I couldn’t fault her pessimism.

It was the enormous elephant sitting square in the middle of town. Plenty of people had been acting like nothing ever happened, trying to forget the Dybbuk and demons that had nearly incinerated the area. But you couldn’t un-see things. You can just choose not talk about them and keep going about your daily business trying desperately to avoid words like damn or hell so that the mess could all get swept under the rug.

After I had unleashed the demons onto Earth and sent them and Thom back into the chamber, it was standard operating procedure just as with any natural disaster - which is the way the media was spinning it. Charlotte’s dad, the Senator, pulled in every favor, resulting in the swift movement of the wheels of legislature. In conjunction with the governor, the two had secured Federal emergency funds to aid disaster relief. Storefront glass had been replaced, roads were cleared and the school was swept clean of the supposed flooding. In private, everyone was on high alert. Shopkeepers hung talismans in their windows; eyes made of turquoise glass, crosses, bunches of dried sage and hamsas, like they had always been believers. Adults spoke in hushed tones, knocked on wood, and crossed themselves up and down. And the biggest change of all was the curfew. All residents had to be home by eight o’clock sharp.  

I could feel my knees starting to give but forced myself to stay rigid until Morgan was up in the air ready to be caught. 

"Either way," Charlotte’s voice broke through my thoughts. "We’re going to get them excited because that’s what we do." She picked up the small vinyl pompoms, the metallic ribbons shining in the spotlights, and the rest of us followed suit. We lined up closer to the stands and waited while the last of the hopeless stragglers took their seats.

It didn’t take long for Principal Kelly to get on the loudspeaker.  

"Esteemed faculty, students," 

Ugh. Her and that mic.

My mind began to wander again. Her words became an electric hum as my gaze hit the tree line and the memory of the ink black Dybbuk flooded back to me. The malice with which they had overrun the town - pitting neighbor against neighbor, sending waves of violence and dangerous weather to this small inconspicuous bit of land tucked within the jutting pines of the Hudson Valley raised the hair on my skin. Or the way their blank faces would melt into agony as they took control of those around me. And then  I made the stupidest mistake of my life and opened the chamber. 

Something crowed overhead. Call after call with no other answer. I looked up worried that it belonged to one of the slippery winged beings that didn’t get sucked back down to hell.  I caught the sharp glare of the floodlights and squinted from the brightness.

"Gem, you okay?" Morgan asked as she sidestepped away.

 Looking past her, I saw that Charlotte had already taken the squad front and center. The referee blew his whistle.

 ”Yeah, Gem, you okay? You’re real scary when you space out,” Brian popped in beside me causing me to flinch.

 ”I think so,” was all I was able to eke out while trying my best to ignore my brother. Morgan smiled and urged me into position. 

 ”That’s the spirit!” Brian said cracking himself up. “Get it, spirit. Booooo.” 

 I rolled my eyes at him as muscle memory took over moving my arms and legs to the sound of the latest Taylor Swift pop song. Brian kept up his antics by mimicking Charlotte’s movements. When the song and routine came to an end, we moved over to the sidelines as both teams hustled onto the field and readied for the kickoff. 

 This is ridiculous.

 The game went on. Ian’s presence on the field was stifling and although I didn’t have any tears left in me for what he did, I was definitely in the hostility phase of grief filled with questions, one-sided conversations and rants that all took place in my head. So I spent the rest of the game focused on cheering to a group of frightened onlookers who were just happy to get some extra time outdoors with friends. Until the sirens blared from every direction calling first warning for curfew.

 Finally, when the noise died down Principal Kelly came over the speakers. “Let’s give it another ten so we can finish the game.”       

 After that reality check, the last few downs weren’t the same filled with fumbles and sacks. Regardless of the additional thirty minutes people had to get home, the bleachers started to clear. On the bright side, the farce ended quickly with an unsurprising win by Ian’s team. I raced to school eager to get to the locker room leaving Charlotte behind chatting about weekend plans that would never be. According to her, it kept everyone’s spirits up.

 As I was about to walk up the concrete steps leading to the school entrance, Matt came to a slow jog to my side with his helmet tucked under his arm.

 ”Hey, Gem,” His breath came out invisible tufts and his brow was damp with a thin sheen of sweat.

 ”Hi Matt,” I answered unsure of what else to say. 

 ”So, I was wondering,” He started speaking in a rehearsed tone and ran a nervous hand through his dark blond locks. “Wait. First, I want to start with I’m sorry. I don’t want things to be like this between us.”

 ”Like what?” My nerves tingled with apprehension at the thought of what his next words were going to be.

 ”Just weird. I know it’s been mostly my fault.”

 ”Thanks, Matt,” I replied. Part of me wanted so badly for the pieces in my life to settle down after the maelstrom that overtook me. I was throwing myself into a routine of homework, studying and cheerleading practice. There was no room for magic in my life. Things were nice and normal albeit a little forced. 

 ”Like I was saying,” He brushed a hand through his hair. “A bunch of us are going to hang out now. I was hoping you’d join. No pressure.”

 It was painful for him to ask me. I could tell. That made me remember how Matt was one of those people I was connected to for life. We shared history. I’d known him just as long as Charlotte. We were all in the same class. All I could do now was recall that chubby faced kid who always had a tear in his jeans and hogged all the blocks. 

 I hesitated for a moment before answering. Going out past curfew was the type of behavior I was trying to avoid. I wanted to lay low until it was time to graduate.

 What was the worst that could happen? Was it worth it? Would Ian be there?

 ”Maybe another time, Matt,” I tried sounding sincere but all I wanted to do was get in bed and crawl under the covers.

 ”C’mon. It’s not like I’m asking you on a date,” He awkwardly bumped my shoulder and let out a string of nervous laughter. “Unless that’s what you want it to be,”

 ”All the planets would have to be aligned for me to want to go,” My gaze went over to Ian still on the field with the relishing look of victory plastered on his smug face. When I looked back to Matt pity had filled his expression.

 ”I see. It may come as a surprise to you, but I care,” he said.

 ”If you didn’t notice this town is under martial law. Anyways, it’s not my idea of fun to hang out with people who are talking about me behind my back,”

 ”That wasn’t me,”

 ”Listen, Matt, if you want to kiss and make up… I’m just not ready for that to happen, “

 ”I’m not making excuses but you pushed me away. All that was left was Allison. And the football team. Like I was going to go to them if I had a problem or tell them how much I miss Brian. She was there. Whatever she said about you I’m sorry about that.”

 ”Well, thanks for that heartfelt apology but I’ve got to go,” I started making my way up the stairs. 

 ”Gem, please,” Matt raised his voice. “At least let’s try being friends.”

 ”This is better than reality television,” Brian said placing his transparent form between me and Matt.

 There is nothing like a betrayal of the heart to make a person fearful to connect with another. But if I was going to make this back to normal thing happen I couldn’t shut myself off completely.

 “Don’t expect me to sing Kumbaya,” I said rubbing the ache in my shoulder from the extra pow I was putting in my cheers. “Look, I’ll see you tomorrow. We can try to start over then,” My voice was firm. 

 Looking back, I had always been the meek one tagging along with Brian and the rest of them. I wasn’t going to let myself be taken for a ride again and look like a fool. My only chance of figuring out what to do with next year meant buckling down. I needed to gain some independence and do things my way. My only hope of leaving this god forsaken place was a college application.

 The look of acceptance on his face released some of the tension that had built up in the air.

 ”Ok, I can deal with that,” He said. “But if you change your mind we’ll be at the ravine,”

 A deep rumble fractured the small town ambiance. I look past the field and past Ian who was just now making it across after soaking in the praise from all of his admirers. Beyond the grass and up the road, bright lights made their descent. At first, I mistook them for the semis that passed through to get to the Walmart out on Route 75 or more recently hauling emergency aid. As the caravan of vehicles drew closer, I realized it was nothing nearly as mundane. Fatigue green armored Humvees cruised down one after another passing the school. Atop each one was a gunner seated behind a machine gun equipped turret. 

 I watched, locked in place by the sight, as one after another they made a sharp left turn onto one of the dirt roads leading into the forest and disappeared into the darkness.

 Strange.

 When I looked back Ian caught my eye. He and Morgan walked arm in arm wearing matching grins. She nuzzled further into his hold as they crossed the distance between us. He looked like he was about to say something, but I didn’t stay long enough for him to get the words out.

School still felt strange. A ghostly residue had adhered itself to the walls that made me shudder. My sneakers squeaked on my way to the locker room.

If I could survive the car crash, I could survive exorcising a bunch of ghosts.

Right?

“Still hate it here, huh?” Brian asked.

“Wouldn’t you?” 

It was the usual musty smell and dim green tinged lighting that welcomed me after pushing  in the door. The sound of running water and high pitched voices met my ears. Anxiety settled into the pit of my stomach threatening to crush my insides. I kept reminding myself that no one was paying any attention to me and there was no one there to see the scars and marks that riddled my body both inside and out. I couldn’t undress. I sat on a bench and pretended to go through my books making sure I hadn’t forgotten anything. 

“Come on, Gem, get with it. Don’t you want to make it to the homecoming toast?” Charlotte walked in wrapped in a plush pink robe, her hair wrapped in a matching towel atop her head.

“I need to finish my Chem homework,” I sighed.

“But, it’s tradition,”

“I just figured with the curfew and all,”

“Oh, please. Like the Senator can stop us. They can’t keep us locked up. You know it wouldn’t make a difference whether we’re indoors or out if the demons wanted to attack again,” She gave me a knowing look, one that I grew accustomed to mean she was about to invade my personal brain space.

- They’re not all gone.

- Charlotte, can we talk about this later? Like when there isn’t a room full of other people who might wonder why we’re having a staring contest. And what do you mean they’re not all gone?

- I know you closed the chamber, but I still feel something out there. 

-The white horse.

-Like there’s a leaky faucet somewhere.

-A what?

-Oh, never mind. 

“That’s not the point. The point is that we need to stay positive while our parents run around like loonies.” She pulled a chunky knit sweater over her head. The blue heather wool complimented her denim mini skirt. 

“My leg is bothering me. I need to rest, sorry,” I rubbed my arms for comfort. The sigils, which had always come to life near Charlotte, remained silent now. It felt like a small victory to me. Like life was going to as planned now and I was going to avoid reawakening them at all costs.

“Don’t be silly, Gemmie,”

“Yeah, Gemmie,” Brian aped swinging in from behind me like a cat who ate the canary and leaned against the back wall, his arms folded in front as he watched all the girls in various states of undress.

It drove me crazy that I couldn’t yell at him right then and there for using his invisibility in such a Neanderthal way. I pulled my jacket on opting to trek home and hoped that Brian would follow.

“Call me later,” I told Charlotte.

“So what did Matt have to say for himself?” Charlotte said as she slicked on a thick layer of mascara. 

“How do you do that without a mirror?”

“Practice,” She replied as she casually began applying bronzer while looking directly at me. “But stop trying to change the subject.”

“He wanted to apologize that’s all. The whole let’s be friends again speech,”

“Be careful,” She said moving on to lipgloss.

“Don’t worry,” I slung my bag over my shoulder, said my goodbyes, and headed back out with a nod to my ghost of a brother to follow.

“You can’t do that,” I said as I walked down the empty hallway.

The old gray lockers that had been destroyed by the Dybbuk ooze were replaced with new ones. These were a lovely shade of light puke green and matched the ones in the locker room perfectly. When I reached mine, I faced the shiny new combination lock and groaned. I dug through my pockets until I found the small strip of paper with the three two-digit number sequence that I had yet to memorize. It took me three times until the lock clicked open, and I was able to stuff what I didn’t need inside.

“I’m just looking out for you, sis,” Brian said. He had the patience of a saint now, willing to suffer through my long pauses.

“Don’t act all innocent,” I said.

“You’re entitled to your opinion,”

“Right,” I said and slammed the door then made sure I heard the audible click of the lock.

We walked home in silence. Brian knew not to push it any further in public and I knew it was difficult for him - being invisible. Being stuck here with no purpose and no respite. The deep angled shadows on his face reflected the melancholy that had settled into his heart. The longer he was here the harder it was for him to hide his uneasiness. He disappeared for stretches of time and returned even more fractured. 

Bitterness filled my mouth at the thought that I had no idea how to fix it.