Assertiveness is Speaking Your Truth with Strength and Sensitivity — Colette

ASK Assertively for What you Need to Be Successful.

Assertiveness shows respect to you AND others. It’s a core belief we are equal as human beings regardless of job title, status, or life experiences.

Remember to keep your body language and tone of voice in alignment with your words.

Use Assertive, Whole Messages. (DEALTM)

1.   Describe Data – (facts, not interpretations or opinions)

2.   Express Emotion (concerns, surprises, puzzles, uncomfortable)

3.   Ask Assertively

4.   Listen & Learn

When you DEALTM, you Eliminate Aggressive Language:

Aggressive language: “You did not follow the correct procedure!”

DEAL:

D: There is a procedure for this.

E: This concerns me as it could create liability for us.

A: I need your commitment that you’ll follow the procedure without exception.

L: Can we work together on this? Or Do you need additional training or support?

Aggressive language: “You need to stop being so negative!”

DEAL:

I respect that you’ve been through a lot of changes at the company and you are a very valuable member to our team.

D: However yesterday after the meeting I heard you say, “Upper management does not know what they are doing” and “what are they going to take away next?”

E: I’m concerned that the team will be distracted by your statements instead of focused on the tasks at hand.

A:  I need you to focus your energy on finding solutions to challenges rather than talking about them.

L:  Can I have your agreement on this?

Use DEAL to ask for what you need to be successful.

DEAL:

D: I’m lacking clarity on this particular assignment.

E: This makes me uncomfortable as I want to deliver quality work.

A: May I ask you some detailed questions to help me better understand the deliverable?

L: (not always necessary to have an L)

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