What’s Going On… (do over) and Yes, Hope

Weeks ago, Pure Food and Wine restaurant and One Lucky Duck in NYC, even our website, closed down. My worst nightmare of nightmares. My staff have been hurt by this, and it’s my full responsibility. There aren’t words for how I feel and nothing sufficient to say. I also don’t expect anyone to understand. I can only put all my energy at fixing this, for the employees, for everyone involved, and for you, which is what I have been doing non-stop. However, ass it turns out, I can’t do it single-handedly, and so ,

I know so many people out there don’t even know we closed, because we still get a lot of emails daily asking about making reservations or wanting to place an order. I even get emails about wanting to license the brand in other countries, again even after we closed. So ever since this happened, I kept thinking I can fix this somehow quickly and get reopen, and I can make reparations where needed, and get back to doing all that we do, with a stronger foundation. Except things can often take longer than you think they will, and that’s what has been happening, and why I’m writing this now.

It’s been over ten years I’ve been running Pure Food and Wine and One Lucky Duck, and I think it’s been more of a challenge than it has looked from the outside looking in. The businesses have always done well, we grew every year most of those years, we even sold in over 30 Whole Foods stores back in ’06 and ’07 until it was way too overwhelming to do, and I pulled it all back. But the demand has been there. And all the while, I’ve had some major handicaps from the start, both personal and on the business. But we did okay despite all that. And without “corporate” support of a CFO, or COO, or more. I’ve had to wear a lot of hats. Some times more hats than other times, but always way too many hats.

Still, I’ve always known this was larger than me, and not about me at all, I’m just here to enable it. It’s about something big, and really important. The world needs anything and everything to help the shift towards healthier, more compassionate eating and living, and for people to be able to access it in a way that’s appealing and fun. (And yes, down the road in a more affordable way–raw and organic is expensive.) I created the One Lucky Duck logo because I wanted something memorable, easily recognizable, iconic, and also something with enough of a cuteness factor that kids would find it appealing too, which is important if we’re talking about changing the future too.

Right now, the brand, the restaurant, and I are hanging from a cliff. Yes, I’ll say it, because it’s true. Yes it’s totally all my fault. No, it’s not easy to understand how it happened. On top of all of that, if I could rewind to when this did happen, I’d have written something like this sooner. If I could rewind farther, I’d have done a lot differently but that’s not possible now. A few weeks ago and until just recently, I thought I had the solution: a buyer, from overseas, who would take care of everything, including employees, and give my company a solid footing it’s needed. They’d have taken over corporate operations to free me up to do the things I should be doing (branding, creative, spending time at our locations, development etc), finally. Yet I was also scared of letting go of control of the brand, but figured right now this will be what’s best for the safety of the future, and all would be okay. Except it wasn’t. That deal wasn’t to be, or what I thought it would be. And if I ever write a memoir one day, this part will make a good chapter. Lessons learned, my fault. I just hope not too late.

Meanwhile, I have now quickly been working to sell shares in the whole company, and so far the people coming together for this have been really good people, ones who love what we do, and truly care, and want to be part of something exciting for the future. Which is what I’ve truly always wanted, all this time. So maybe Euro group deal falling apart ultimately is a good thing and I’ll look back and be so relieved. Because what I want is everyone taken care of. All our suppliers too who worked with us all this time, and everyone else who’s ever helped me/us out. Yes I’m idealistic. But I’ve always felt that we should have really good people who care about the brand, what it stands for, what the company does, to be the ones involved. And to have them and employees benefit from all our future success. And in this new set-up, I will not be at the steering wheel, just on the side directing, and supported.

Speaking of employees, I don’t have a flattering reputation with some of them at the moment, but one day, one by one, those who are upset with me will, I think, forgive me. And even if they won’t I’ll make it up to them. There’s a lot more I could say about this too, but will save it. Anyone who knows me knows I care. A lot. Too much, probably. My landlords also, they’re totally pissed at me. I understand why. I get it. And I intend to make it up to them too, because they’re actually good people too (yes, landlords!). Overall, I had a really truly awful 2014 on a personal level. No I wasn’t tweeting about it, just having a really hard time quietly. And it affected the company, and everyone in it and involved with it. I let my family down too, who I barely have time to talk with. A lot has happened.

So now, are there more people out there I can reach, who would want to help enable Pure Food and Wine and One Lucky Duck’s re-boot, with a totally restructured foundation, a much safer one, and a good operational management partner in place to run things, along with me. So we can finally safely grow, and be the company we’re supposed to be. Last summer I was in discussions with a big financial group about a very large deal, where the company was valued at a pretty solid and high number. Maybe now I wish I could have done that deal, but at the time it would have taken too long. And in my heart of hearts too, I’ve always been scared of letting go of control to financial/institutional investors. Or, venture capital or other investment funds. (I used to work for one years ago, so I know). Even recently I was traveling around chasing various deals, and they always were taking longer than I thought, not right, or came apart on me in truly baffling ways. But then when things came a part completely, a lot of burdens lifted. And so now there’s an opportunity that wasn’t there before. And… I’ve always wanted this to be about our people all along. So if I can sell the ownership in the company to good people, whether a small group, or a larger group for smaller amounts, or even one really good buyer, what matters is: people who care. What matters is knowing that the company, I, and the staff who come back, and all future employees, will be in good hands, and all of this is being done for the right reasons.

My real dream, while we’re at it, was to hold onto ownership by selling licensing rights to the brands and more in various locations and countries, to help me take care of liabilities, and then one day put in place a kick ass employee ownership program. Yes, that’s the truth. That was my ideal scenario, again believe it or not. But, maybe even too idealistic a scenario. And one that was also way too much work for me to do on my own. Last Spring, I was in Los Angeles, for the potential to open a Pure Food and Wine and One Lucky Duck out there, with some really great people. What happened? I was all: Um, I have too much on my plate and too much going on right now to work out back in NYC to take this on. Basically, I got scared, and put that on a back burner, and ran home.

Anyway! Given what’s happened now, the company will be valued at a fraction of what it was last summer, and that means that it will be a really good deal for anyone participating. Even though one could argue: wait, you’re closed right now! Yes, but the company is like a Lamborghini with a flat tire! It needs a fix and will be good as new, and really valuable. Everything that was created by our people over the last ten years is all there, and so much more. There are issues, yes. Some complications, sure! But is it worth it? I’d say hell yes. And the more people that come together, the better and safer it will be, in your hands.

Meanwhile, since this happened some people have said to me: Oh I’m so sorry about this! Dust yourself off, take some time off, re-invent yourself. WHAT? No. First, I can’t take time off when I have obligations, serious ones (to good people). But aside from that, just no. This is what I’m here for. With every fiber of my being I know this, and oddly I knew it ten years ago after I had the One Lucky Duck logo designed, and before the website was even built, and I went and got the logo tattooed on my arm. I knew it needed to be permanent. Go big or go home. And I’ve always known this is meant to be big. I may have F’d up royally, but if it can be put back together now with the right, safe foundations it has always needed, and let our supporters be the ones to benefit, then this will have happened for a reason. (Some of my staff may not agree, but again, they will all be taken care of, as long as I’m here and alive). I keep emphasizing the employees because they were hurt really badly here without warning, and that’s my worst nightmare, and I wasn’t available and in communication. Yes, I know, all bad. For me to explain it all would take a few chapters, so again, that will have to wait, because right now I have to steer the Titanic away from an iceberg.

And there’s very little time, because there are certain deadlines. Happening very soon. I have not been good at sounding the alarms. So please know I’m doing that now. There could come a time where there’s no getting it back, and so again… sounding alarms now. But on top of that, April is less than a month away. Our garden at Pure Food and Wine is at it’s best, most magical in those early days! May is by far the busiest month of every year, April a close second, so it’s time to hurry up and re-open. That garden, for F’s sake, and Joey making sake mojitos, lasagnas coming from the kitchen, and big ice cream sundaes from pastry, and juices and mallomars at One Lucky Duck around the corner. I believe in my heart this all should be turned back on, and quickly. Not for me, but for you, and everyone involved.

We do have some good people who’ve agreed to be in, but quickly need more in order to get to the place where a transaction can officially be settled, and we’re on the way. Because a pretty decent minimum is needed to get this rebooted. And no matter what anyone thinks of me, there’s way too much here to let go.

So, with all of my heart, I hereby do what is by far the hardest thing of all time ever to do: ask for help. I even read Amanda Palmer’s “The Art of Asking” and she’s proven that going to your base, the ones who supported you all along, that’s where you go for help, and just put it all out there, and ask. Not for a hand out, but for participation. An exchange. Ask for taking the leap, believing like I do that this brand is meant to be big. And if you own a part of all this, I know you will be really glad for it in the future, not even distant future, but soon.

Please email me at sarmasarma@gmail.com if you want to get involved, and become an owner, big or small, and help get this thing turned back on, its flat tire fixed. I have information to share, and have also had help in putting together a structure that will be solid for the future, and take care of everyone involved. Also, if you think of someone who may be into this, please let me know, or forward it to them (tagged: “urgent”!)

Finally, e-mail me too if you want to yell at me, I mean it. Please do. E-mail me directly. Call me names. I’m at the bottom now, so it’s that time when people like to kick. I already know what will come, because there’s not enough room or time for me to address everything, or people’s perceptions or judgments. I can do all that when things are safe. Believe it or not, my biggest fear in life is letting people down. Always has been. And in some insane way, I managed to create a situation where I did just that on a massive scale. How does that happen? Life lessons are in my face daily now. I’m seeing the flaws, fears and more that got me where I am right now. I didn’t mean to take anyone else down too. But I’m not one to ever give up. Not ever. Even if I end up just on the sidelines to support it. Because so many really good people who worked with us created so much cumulatively over the last ten years, and all along, it was only just the beginning.

If I make it through this, I will be one of those people reassuring younger people that if you believe in something with every fiber of your being, then no matter what obstacles get in the way or how many times you stumble, how bad you look, or how far you fall… don’t give up. It will be worth it. I’m hoping I can say that with assurance before too long, while sitting in the garden at Pure Food and Wine.

With gratitude, humility and so much more,

Sarma

p.s. Yes, I disabled “comments” … but just email me, (sarmasarma@gmail.com) at which point you can call me cowardly for doing so, I’ll take that too. And yes, I did take down a previous post (for which I was called a coward) that was full of a ton of amazing, hopeful, encouraging comments that I read and took to heart so thank you to those who took the time to write, it means the world. There were also a fair number of unhappy comments and I read all those too. Life is complicated. This is scary. Like Amanda Palmer says about writing: “just put it out there, cringe, and deal.”

p.p.s My brother runs his own One Lucky Duck in San Antonio Texas, and he’s going strong, so if you’re there go visit! He’s making macaroons and more too.