Everyone tells you that keeping up with your blog is numero uno when it comes to marketing your brand, especially as an author.

Guess what, gang?

I’ve sucked it up over here, leaving my spot empty for weeks on end. Though, to be honest, my Facebook posts have served as little blogs here and there (especially the last few). Instead of coming here or sitting in front of my computer, I’ve been tromping around Missouri, speaking to whoever will listen about all-things-DV. Three weeks ago I spoke to a group about kiddos (secondary survivors), two weeks ago with new recruits for a local police department, and last week I spent the day in Jefferson City, talking to Senators and Representatives about maintaining funding for DV shelters and changing a few laws.

Hopeful this will help, I’m certain I’ll be called upon to speak on the floor when the bill is ready for discussion.

I’m not going to lie, looking people in the eye and claiming my story has been something of a revelation for me. It feels more authentic, more appropriate to be ME. Fina is reaching her finale, and I think you’ll be calling me a new name sometime next month. In truth, you’ll also be seeing me at another site, one loaded with my story, my mission…and my face. Don’t misunderstand: I’ve been authentically myself, showing my scars and sharing my biggest secrets. For the longest time,  Sarafina served as a protection mechanism: against my abuser and keeping my school district happy. Both of those have failed in a way, some of Mike’s family identifying (and harassing) me and the district disapproving of some of my content (which ended up being the ultimate deciding factor in my resignation last year).

Now, those factors more insignificant, Fina has become a barrier. She keeps me from truly standing beside the survivors who find themselves here, and she also makes it near impossible to do the speaking gigs I’ve been doing. Those two things alone are enough for me to want to step even further into this life path, and I’m ready.

It’s an identity “coming out” of sorts, and one I hope you’ll follow me to. Since The House on Sunset was picked up by Booktrope, I’ve decided it will be republished with my name and picture. So, those of you who have been following along with me on and off for the last four(ish) years, will be seeing another chapter begin.

Today I met with the Executive Director of a local police academy. I’d spoken to his new recruits two weeks ago, detailing my experience with the PD inside of my relationship, in hopes to humanize domestic and intimate partner violence. After, he reached out to me and offered to answer any questions I had about practices and perspectives, hoping to heal some of the resentment I naturally feel toward the men and women who serve us. I appreciated his offer more than I let on and just before lunch today we met to talk about the intricacies related to police and “victim” relationships.

Soon, I’ll be reworking my presentation and sharing my story with the front line: the officers currently answering calls and knocking on doors.

“We don’t like to be seen as monsters, especially those of us who still remember why we’re doing what we do.”

That one statement alone brought me to a better place of understanding. Just as quickly as survivors are criticized and judged, other groups face the same unfair biases.

It’s time to do more than sit behind this screen and share intimate details from my life. Yep. It’s time to set out, look forward and smile.