I think one of the hardest things of being long term ill is having a to-do list a mile long that keeps on growing and not having the energy to ever get to the end! Some days/weeks I’m lucky to wipe one thing of The List.

It is now over a page long, most of the * points have multiple dot points under them and I had to add two more last night in the middle of deep insomnia where I was awake tossing and turning till some strange parallel universe-time called morning. The odd thing about my health is that no matter how bad it gets, my body can find the time to bring me insomnia. And it really does need the sleep!

On the flip side, a little bit of insomnia gives my brain the chance to come up with all kinds of ideas. Not only can I add to the already bulging List, I can think up lines for books I haven’t had time to write yet, think up titles, plot points and other interesting side issues (like what I’m going to do about the increasing frequency of my insomnia – a roundabout thought pattern at 1am if ever there was)

And the thing about not sleeping – apart from spending the morning looking like someone let out from a vampire movie – is it makes me sluggish and then nothing on The List gets done, which only adds fuel to the brain-fire.

So today, regardless of the meagre portions of sleep that were attained, I plan of knocking a couple of things of The List. They’ll probably be the smallest things I can find…

I’ll let you know how that turns out!