Enjoy a short story piece by me :)


The end of Gabriel’s cigarette sends an ash taste through his mouth, causing a slight choke. He fishes in his pocket for another. Fourth one in two hours. His red, white and blue lighter forms a focused bright light surrounding the pitch black porch around the apartment. The first inhale is always his favorite. Gabriel closes his eyes and smiles slightly as the near A.M. reaches the much wasted day.
“You’ve gotta lay off, man.” Gabriel’s best friend, Joey, waves the smoky air away from his smothered-cologne body. He is overly dressed, as usual, having his best Calvin Klein scent on, a red cashmere sweater clinging tightly to his body, and skinny jeans that hug him perfectly during the unfortunate breeze. The full moon is out, tinted in a beige color, standing almost in front of Gabriel’s apartment, almost waiting to come in.
“What? I always smoke late.” Gabriel inhales another, blowing “O’s” straight up into the air. The small gust of wind snatches it, disappearing from the world.
“Dude, the fact that you know how to blow ‘O’ shapes says you have a smoking problem.” Joey rolls his eyes.
“You don’t see me getting mad about your drinking problem.” Gabriel is bitter toward his condescending best friend. He’s one to talk.
“What drinking problem?” Joey huffs. He sits on a chair, watching the fast cars zoom past them on the small patio.
Gabriel chuckles a bit as he takes another drag. “Come on, four nights a week at bars? I know you by now and I know you have a drinking problem.”
“Who doesn’t?” Joey opens up a Coors Light, chugging half within seconds. “How about this. As long as you admit you have a smoking problem, I’ll admit I have a drinking problem, deal?” He puts out his strikingly tan hands.
“Deal.” Gabriel comes to terms with his best friend of twenty years as they both watch the night grow longer.
“So what we doing tonight? Bar? Club? Show? I’m feeling like my new clothes need to get ripped off by some lucky lady.” Joey chugs his entire bottle, throwing it in Gabriel’s old cigarette butt and bottle bin. It’s already overflowing from a week’s worth of debris.
Gabriel glares slightly at his buddy. He knows Joey can get almost anyone he wants with that body and face but it doesn’t help that Gabriel is lacking muscles and height. Being only five-eight had its downfalls, especially when bar hopping with Joey who is six-three.
“Come on!” Joey urges. “It’s getting late. I think we still have time to rumble around town and see what’s in season, eh? What do you say?” He nudges Gabriel and laughs as all the polluted thoughts process through his head.
“Do you ever give it a rest? I don’t have time for sex anymore. With finals coming up and working two jobs, where do I fit in a quickie?”
“Gotta prioritize man, gotta prioritize.” Joey pats Gabriel on the back. He sits back and runs his fingers through his slicked back brown hair.
“Should I get some gel to start?”
“You know they like it,” Joey winks.
“It looks unsanitary.”
“It looks like you’re making up any excuse to not get laid, ever since Allie broke up with you. It’s been what? Two months and you can’t even look at another woman?” Joey starts to shake his head.
“It’s not that, I’m just done with dating. I mean, I’m flattered women like me but I’m twenty-three next month and my life is just constantly going going going. I don’t have time even if I wanted to.”
“So that’s what ‘one night stand’ means.” Joey starts to laugh. “You know what that is, right? It’s this great perk for people who don’t have the time nor energy to take a nice lady out. It’s called saving money and instant gratification, baby.” He winks at his skeptical best friend.
“I know what it means, dipshit. I don’t even have energy for that.” Gabriel finishes his cigarette, flicking it over the porch. “I have at least four hours of organic chemistry homework. Fucking Britney gave me all the work to do.”
“Isn’t that the one chick with big tits? From our theater class last year?”
“Yeah?”
“Fucking make a move! I would tear that shit up if she was my lab partner.” Joey gets up from excitement to stretch.
“She’s okay-looking.”
“You gay?”
“Fuck you, man. Besides, I’m more of an ass man.”
“Excuses, excuses,” Joey tsks. “I am so glad I came over here.” He shakes his head again, pacing around the porch Gabriel settled for. Joey grew up in wealth and security. The porch was his least favorite thing about his best friend’s small apartment. Compared to the condo his parents bought him, Gabriel pretty much lived in a crap shack.
“Why?” Gabriel snapped a little. “So you can drink all my beer and lecture me about sex?”
“Well, all you’ve been doing is sleeping and going to school the past two months. You haven’t even had time to hit the gym with me.” Joey smacks Gabriel’s nonexistent muscles on his arms.
“I know.” Gabriel’s shagged blonde hair starts to move with the wind. “I just…miss her is all.”
“She was a real bitch, you know that?”
“I guess.”
“Bitches don’t deserve to have boyfriends like us. Bitches deserve a good one night stand and that’s it!” Joey opens another beer, scrunching his face.
“And how long have you been single again?” Gabriel raises a brow at his free-living best friend.
“Three years. Never been better.”
“Right.”
“Let’s pre-game it, what do you say? We can go to Brickyard Tavern and keep it casual, you know? Play some pool; get a couple girls some drinks. It’ll be a blast.” Joey downs his beer, still eyeing Gabriel’s contemplation.
“I don’t know.”
“Here.” He tosses Gabriel a beer, barely catching it.
“Why do I need to do this? I have to study for my calculus final after organic chemistry. I need rest more than anything.” He turns the other way in disgust with the beer. It was never his drinking preference to begin with. Beer tasted bitter to him and unsettling in the stomach.
“Don’t be a do-gooder, be a bad-doer,” Joey pats him on the back.
“You’re such a horrible influence.”
“And that’s why we’re best friends.” Joey twists his waist for another stretch. His Levi skinny jeans are so low-cut and sweater so short, the Guns N Roses tattoo above his pelvis begins to show. His Led Zeppelin tattoo is proudly showing off the newest muscle edition on his arms.
“True that,” Gabriel admits as they both tap beer bottles and chug away.
“Although, we’re gonna have to do something about your clothes.” Joey chuckles as he heads to the bathroom.
“What about them?” Gabriel looks down at his black hoodie and blue baggy jeans.
“We just need to get you out of them, pronto,” Joey calls out as he takes a piss with the door wide open.
Gabriel heads into his bedroom, digging into the drawers that only display more of what he is wearing. He hasn’t gone shopping in over a year and most of his clothes consist of Goodwill or Ross.
“Don’t you have any more clothes?” Joey zips up his jeans, flushing the toilet behind him. He’s already raiding Gabriel’s drawers fast and in a thrashing manner.
“Thanks for contributing to my apartment’s growing mess.”
“Where the hell are your skinny jeans? Don’t you have any? Chicks dig that.” His eyebrows go up and down, nodding his head in assurance.
“I’m not cut out for that style. No way in hell.”
“You don’t have to be. Where do you carry your black leather jackets? We’ll need that over a white tank to go with some skinny jeans.”
“I don’t have that either. You do know leather jackets cost hundreds of bucks, right?” Gabriel has his mind on future college debt and landing a decent job. A leather jacket is the last thing on his mind right now.
“So?” Joey’s blue eyes light up. “Wait, what about Halloween last year when me and you dressed as girls?” He starts to raid Gabriel’s closet more vigorously.
“I’m not sure, I-”
“Here are these bad boys!” he exclaims, throwing the dark, blue-jeaned bitch-pants at him.
“I am not wearing those.”
“Yes, you are.” He throws a plain white tank at him and starts to dig through Gabriel’s coat closet next. “You have to wear a sick jacket. It’ll make chicks think we’re rich. Since you can’t afford a leather jacket and all, we’ll have to scrounge something up and wing it.”
“They’ll think we’re trying too hard. Since when have you been so into fashion?” Gabriel asks. Joey probably just wanted to boost his best friend’s chances of scoring tonight. Gabriel wasn’t opposed to it, just flustered by everything that had happened to him.
“Don’t you have anything else besides freaking sweaters and hoodies?!”
“The only thing I can think of is when I dressed up as the Joker for Halloween. That disgusting purple jacket.” Gabriel’s face sours up as the flashback of him and Allie dressed as the Joker and Harley Quinn a few years back replays in his mind. At this point in time, he wouldn’t mind if the Joker costume disappeared forever.
“Where is it?” Joey practically yells. “Bring it out!”
“How would I know?” Gabriel shrugs. “As you can see, I haven’t been that clean lately.”
“Yeah, no shit you aren’t cleaning around here. I think I saw a spider crawl out of a cup earlier. Should I bring Juanita in here to help out?” Joey laughs. Juanita was his parent’s highly paid maid of twenty years.
“No, I don’t need her.”
“You know she’ll do anything for me, right?”
“Yes I know, but I don’t want her to clean this dump. I’ll do it myself.” Gabriel is growing stressed as he looks for the stupid purple jacket.
“Okay, housewife, okay.”
“I can’t find it. I will wear this tank and skinny jeans and we’ll call it good.” Gabriel decides to settle, even though he doesn’t give enough of a shit to look his best tonight in the first place.
“You’ll be screwed if you spill something on that tank though. Why else would we wear plain white tanks under zip over jackets? For back up! You’ve seen me drink my face off and puke on all my shirts before.”
“Please don’t remind me.” Gabriel throws off his hoodie and blue shirt so he can wear the stupid wife beater tank Joey insisted on wearing. He strips off his jeans and puts the skin-tight girl pants on, struggling a bit. He puts on his black converse next and black knitted beanie his sick mother made him last year.
“You know you’re having a good time when you puke.”
“Right.” Gabriel rolls his eyes.
“Lookie what I found, Snookums?” Joey holds up the dusty purple Joker jacket that was buried in Gabriel’s summer wear drawer.
“Kill me now.” He puts on the jacket in pain.
“You look good enough to dance with.” Joey starts to dance around while spraying Gabriel carelessly with cologne.
“I’ll believe it when I see it.”
“Now to fix that messy bird’s nest of an excuse you call hair.”
It was official. Gabriel had come to conclusion that his best friend was either a professional at picking out clothes for his womanizing ways, or just maybe gay in denial. One or both of the two. He would always love his best friend though and knew that going out tonight would be for the better. A half hour later, after countless pre-gamed drinks, Gabriel and Joey decide to head to the bar now.
“Why is this walk going nowhere?” Gabriel moans.
“Because we’re already buzzed.” Joey pats him on the back as they power walk in their skinny jeans. They had overdone it before heading to the local bar, like usual. Four shots of Absolute Vodka pre-gamed for Gabriel plus two dreadful beers, and five shots of Gin for Joey, plus two delicious beers. Before lecturing Gabriel to come out, Joey had also drank an additional four beers.
Gabriel walks desperately ahead. “I have to go to the bathroom. Is anything even open?” He begins to panic as his words slur and talk silly.
“Dude, we’re almost there! Piss on the sidewalk!”
“In Beaverton where all the narky cops roam? I don’t think so. I need a bathroom now!”
“Hang in there, budddddy!” Joey calls out as Gabriel appears further away. This was not a joke at all.
“Oh my God, I gotta piss so bad. I want to go back to my apartment!” Gabriel suddenly reverses and zooms past Joey.
He begins to roar in laughter. “Dude, don’t be a wittle bitch; the bar is like ten-ish minutes away.” Joey takes a chug from his canteen bottle. It’s filled with Absolute Vodka and cranberry juice. Pre-gaming never ends for Joey, despite current wobbles and slurred words. He fixes his leather motorcycle jacket and adjusts the tightening pants near his crotch. “Was it my idea to wear skinny jeans tonight?” He calls out to the half-sprinting, half-stumbling Gabriel. He runs to catch up with his bladder-filled friend. “I forget.”
“Yeah, and I should kick your ass for that!” Gabriel adjusts his tight pants as he runs for dear life to his apartment.
I gotta piss, I gotta piss, I gotta piss…now!!! his body tells him.
No, you don’t. You can hold it, you can make it. Don’t piss, don’t piss…you can make it, his mind fights back as his body runs toward the red light. One last cross and he’ll make it to the bathroom gracefully.
PISS MY BOY…PISS! LET IT ALL OUT, his body becomes vicious now, urging him to give in helplessly.
No, no, no. Five more minutes and you can make it, his mind is calm and assuring. Gabriel smiles as he has almost made it home.
TOO LATE, MUH BOY. YOU ARE ONE WEAK FELLA.
Gabriel’s skinny jeans begin to seep in wet urine from the bum down to the legs as he runs across the last crosswalk toward his apartment. A large fifty-something man has stopped in his tracks while driving a big truck, barely seeing scrawny Gabriel run across the crosswalk. The man looks shocked at the sight of sudden liquid producing from Gabriel’s pants. His headlights were exposing the star of the show...Gabriel.
“Gabe? You ok?” Joey sees him stop in the middle of the crosswalk to look down at his pants. “Oh my Go-"
“Shut up!” Gabriel catches his breathe and suddenly sprints the rest of the way towards his apartment to quickly change his urinated pants. He could almost kill himself for pre-gaming in the first place. He was also a lightweight so four shots and some beers really got to him.
Gabriel slams the door and pisses some more in the toilet, even though his body pretty much let it all flow already. He quickly scrubs his legs and lower body with soap and sprays it down with hot shower water. He is not only disgusted with himself but also regretful for agreeing that “pre-game” was a good idea. What an easy way to have an accident.
“Prick,” Gabriel says to himself. He slips on some black semi-baggy jeans of his own taste and throws on a green and white striped sweater, nearly stumbling.
He hears Joey barge into the apartment, seconds later. “Dude,” he chokes out in laughter; laughter so loud, neighbors may hear it. “Did you seriously piss your pants in the middle of the street?!” Joey’s skinny jeans are looking tighter than before, probably from all the alcohol the two had consumed, it made his fit body look bloated.
“Shut up.”
“I know you’re a light weight dude, but come on. Peeing your pants is such a girl thing to do.” He can’t control to poke fun at Gabriel.
“Well it doesn’t help that I was wearing skin tight pants. It basically squeezed the piss outta me.” Gabriel throws on a black Pea Coat.
“Do not blame the skinny jeans for your accident.” Joey begins to laugh on the floor so hard that tears stream from his bloodshot eyes. “Oh man, the look on that driver’s face when you peed in the middle of the crosswalk was priceless!”
“Enough.”
“Can I post a status about this on Facebook?”
“No. I’ll cut your throat if you do!” Gabriel snarls at his childish friend.
“Whoa! Calm down, Beast.”
“Let’s just get the damn night over with, now that I’ve pissed myself away.” His face is flushed and overwhelmed now. Finals were supposed to be studied thoroughly tonight.
“You crack me up. You da' man.”
“If pissing my pants makes me ‘da man’, then this world is seriously more messed up than I thought.”
Gabriel makes sure he has a cigarette for the second attempted walk to the bar. It’s only twenty minutes away but taking a wrong turn could really mess up plans again and having a cigarette seemed like the only sane thing to do.
“Let’s finally get some bitches tonight.”
“Lets.” Gabriel’s mind is in another world now, thinking of all the hot girls he could enter himself into tonight. Allie didn’t exist anymore. She was a rotting corpse for all he knew or cared about.
Gabriel locks the door and lights up his cigarette, inhaling deeply before they head out into the darkness. All of a sudden, Joey barfs on Gabriel’s front door step and surrounding ground. Some coughs spring up after but Joey decides to just walk down the stairs, acting as if nothing happened. He slips on some of his own vomit though, taking a smooth invitation down the two-flight stair case.
“Yeowwwwwwwww!” he wails so loud, a few residents open up their doors to see the commotion. He glances at his bleeding leg and arm covered in puke and produces more vomit from his body. He lays there helplessly at the bottom of the staircase with a twisted leg and arm. Part of a bone is stuck out on his right arm. Gabriel immediately hurdles himself toward the stairs, stumbling.
“Joey!” He trips over a stair and topples on Joey.
Laying there together, looking at one another with matching bloodshot eyes and puke stains, they begin to wonder if this is how their life would end up if they continued this years down the road. If no changes were made and this routine would be a never ending thing...what would the outcome be? They both close their eyes together as the sounds of feet scramble around them.