There’s a story in the Hebrew Scriptures about a man wrestling with an angel. I don’t think most of us think of angels in this light. It seems to me that we tend to think of these heavenly creatures as messengers of good news, as guardians, as protectors bringing us peace and comfort. We like the kind, easy going angels. However, in this story from the ancient texts, the angel is not bringing warm milk and cookies, no gentle words of wisdom; he is not delivering light and sweetness, this angel arrives challenging the man, Jacob, to an all-night, bone-crushing fight.
Scholars say this is a necessary event for Jacob who is on his way to meet his estranged and wronged brother, Esau. They say this is the struggle he must have regarding his own guilt about the sibling break-up and his own fear in going eyeball to eyeball with the brother who at their last meeting vowed to kill him if he got the chance.
Indeed, if you’ve ever had a get-together scheduled where you were going to be face to face with your sworn enemy or have to seek reconciliation with someone you have harmed, then you know that night before the planned exchange feels more like a wrestling match than an evening of gentle rest.
This story teaches us a lot about the human condition, about our frailties and fears, our guilt; and it teaches us a lot about perseverance, about staying in the fight, reminding us that not all of our divine lessons come in sweet, warm embraces. Sometimes the lessons we have to learn, the ones where we take a true and honest look at ourselves, the serious reckoning with our truths, the things we have to change and let go of and forgive, these angels require a fight and they can take a long time. And if we look to the story of Jacob wrestling with the angel, we must understand that after the fight, after we get our blessing of relief, after we receive a new identity, after finally finding the forgiveness we seek and the change we need, we are not the same. The angel broke Jacob’s hip, left him with a limp, altering how he forever walked in the world. Long, bloody fights with grief or despair or truth do that to us. After wrestling with these angels we are no longer unscarred and unblemished; we are wounded by the battle and how we look at the world and how the world sees us will never be the same again.
So, just beware the next time you call for divine assistance. Remember that what or who comes may not have gossamer wings and a halo of light; it might not be sweet relief that comes calling. The angel that arrives may be wearing boxing gloves and a title belt. Just be prepared because sometimes angels do not show up to bid you rest. Sometimes they show up to fight.