I'm celebrating; it's kinda what I do. Ask anyone who knows me at all and they can probably tell you my favorite holidays are my kiddos' birthdays. Why not take advantage of a chance to make someone I love feel special?
So, today I realized it would be a shame not to be sure and recognize this past year...

It's been a year today since, "that day"; that's what we call it. The tests told them it wasn't a stroke, but I still found myself looking into the eyes of my loved ones and seeing the panic. I wanted to jump off the hospital bed, hug them all and go fix dinner; that wasn't an option. The right side of my body wasn't very cooperative and swallowing was a challenge.

I'm not going to take you through the step-by-step craziness we went through. I do, however, want to tell you that I totally agree with what one of my friends said. Very early on he commented, "you don't deserve this".

I couldn't agree more!
A husband who sought out Drs. and alternative medicine to help me, four kiddos flopping on the bed and laughing with me everyday, family and friends so attentive we had to ask them to back off-I don't deserve that!

Time slowed to a crawl when I became a fixture in my own home! Suddenly you're aware of all the things you aren't worth. What a temptation to roll over and give up that is. "Why is this happening to me?" Oh, forget that question! Why not?
I soon realized I couldn't wait until I was better to be happy. After all, it's easy to SAY you have faith. This was a chance to live it. Don't go all crazy, I'm not saying there weren't plenty of moments I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs or just forget waking up! I'm saying my God is faithful enough that He held me close just because I asked Him to, even though I didn't deserve it.

I've got four teenagers. My husband teases that he can't believe the conversations I have with them sometimes. But I want to be transparent with them-that's a scary thought, I know. But I have a feeling it's no secret to them that their mom has faults Ha. These are the verses I knew I needed to focus on. So I asked them to remind me & call me out....
"Rejoice always, Pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18....
Like it or not people have been watching me closer because of what's happened to me. Who knew how I walked is so interesting?...crooked/slow, I could feel people's eyes on me assessing. Too they're watching my walk with the Lord. I'm imperfect, impatient, frustrated. Still He is faithful & fills me with love and happiness. I pray those watchers will realize that; God's glory.

I was given the joy of celebrating the "little things"...tying my own shoe, feeding myself, writing one handed...Ha, it had been years since I'd remembered to be thankful for those things!
More and more have come.
I was blessed to watch my first daughter graduate high school, cut up a watermelon on my own, walking a mile without a cane(then two, then three), get to continue teaching youth group, climb at Forest Falls with my family, riding a bike, seeing Texas for the first time, attending a writer's conference, climbing stairs with a baby in my arms again...I don't deserve any of it! I mean, how is it fair that after only a year I'm nearly restored back to how I was? I am blessed beyond explanation.

Regardless, here I am CELEBRATING! I don't know how to go about this blog. This is very personal and I don't know why I'm sharing it with everyone or why I think you should care. It just feels wrong to let today go by without expressing my thankfulness. I praise the Lord & thank Him for giving me unending joy! I pray He is glorified even in this emotionally written jumble!

To anyone who's uttered a prayer for me, THANK YOU! I can't even tell my family and friends what their love is to me! Unconditional, encouraging, selfless love has surrounded me! I don't deserve it!

Love you guys, He loves you more.