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Growing up baseball was my first love. During elementary and middle school I played other sports, but baseball was the sport I dreamed of playing professionally. Cal Ripken Jr. was my hero, and I envisioned taking over shortstop one day for the Baltimore Orioles. So, I believed that the first day of baseball tryout’s my freshmen year was just a formality. After two days of tryout’s, the coach told me I was cut. Not only did I not make the varsity team, but I also did not make the junior varsity team.  How could any reasonable coach cut me?

When my dad got home that day, he wanted an update on tryout’s. Through tears of embarrassment I told him that I had been cut from both teams. He told me that we would talk the next day about our next step regarding my baseball future. I told him I was never playing baseball again, and he said we would talk in the morning. The first thing he asked me the next morning was did I want to play college baseball? I said of course, but I could not even make the high school team. He then shared with me a plan to accomplish that goal. He went through the plan that involved giving up other sports, changing positions, throwing every day, and attending a pitching clinic.

Over the next three years I became an all conference pitcher and earned a scholarship to the University of North Carolina at Pembroke. My father did not give up on me; my father did not complain to the coach that cut me, instead he developed a plan for us to pursue my dream together.





Over the past few years we have received mostly positive updates on Marley’s development. Unfortunately this has caused us to become a little lax with her home therapy program. This was pointed out to us recently when Marley received her annual neurodevelopment evaluation. We received a discouraging report and that “cut feeling” crept into my mind as I heard; “Sorry, but your daughter is not doing well in these areas.”

Honestly, I had always viewed Marley as a Down Syndrome Super Star until that moment. I think we all view our children as stars at some point, but the therapist’s reality update helped us recognize that Marley was not making the cut. So what did we do?  We realized this was the “cut moment” we needed as parents, and started making a Marley Plan.

Before I was jealous when someone would proclaim, “I have never been cut from anything in my life!” Now, I am thankful for being cut from my high school baseball team, because I experienced a life-changing event that strengthened my relationship with my father and prepared me for life.  At the time I hated not making the team, but now I know it has benefited me as a husband, a father, and a person. There will be days that Marley gets “cut from the team”, but we will use those moments to teach, inspire, and love our little girl.

Jack Barr, Author of Failing at Fatherhood

Failing at Fatherhood: A book for the imperfect father