TRIGGER WARNINGS – because everything needs a trigger warning these days.

DISCLAIMER – I’m a Cis-Hetero-White-Male

The view from where I stand is pretty damn good. I can see everything clearly which allows me to make judgements. I can pick and choose my crosses to bear and give my support to whichever ideology or cause I want.

As a CHWM life is fucking sweet!

Because I have this privileged view, I literally stand on the balcony overlooking the seething masses of the less privileged.

I hear women speaking out against misogyny, sexism, and abuse. I see people with their own unique perspective of their personal gender, sexuality and individuality striving for acceptance and I guess some kind of validation of their identity.

I see right-wingers howling that the President of the US is going to bring about some kind of Biblical Armageddon. I see my country’s leaders doing their own quick-step to keep the money men happy without completely alienating the  impoverished  Middle Class voters (because seriously, they don’t even care about the impoverished).

I see Social Justice Warriors embarking on their Crusade of the Week.

Joss Whedon must die!

You can’t have a female Thor!

Mad Max is feminist propaganda!

Game of Thrones had a rape scene!

Expel the Student Union member who said #KillAllWhiteMen !

Bring Back Our Girls!

Okay that last one hasn’t been on the menu for over a year now. Because there are far more important things to worry about – like making death threats against a director because a film suggested that women identify as monsters if they are unable to have children.

Personally, I think that Boko Haram is more monstrous than the Avengers commentary on forced sterilization.

There’s no shortage of things to be upset about. People jump on bandwagons and form lynch mobs with frightening ease.

What I interests me is why?

I understand that there are causes that people have strong feelings about. There are tragedies and injustices and all manner of bad things happening in the world. This sort of shit has been going on for about 500 Million years now.

What has changed recently is the way we communicate, social media, anonymous public forums attended by billions who can say pretty much whatever they hell they want. People are finding support and like-minded individuals and seeing a relationship – these people feel the same way I do. We want to belong – so with the mob, we get noisy because we know they will back us up.

For example, one voice saying “People need to be treated as equals, regardless of gender,” is going to get burned at the stake.

When a million people start saying it, they get taken more seriously and others join the crowd – until a minority becomes a larger minority.

Then two things happen almost immediately.

The group splinters into different factions of what, “Women need to be treated as equals, regardless of gender” actually means and how to achieve lasting change.

Those who believe that such equality will mean the end of the world coalesce into their own groups that are the polar opposite of the various factions in the initial group.

The group that is now speaking out and demanding change, goes to war – not only with the status quo – to which their opposition brought them together in the first place, but also with the groups that came together to defend the status quo – and most confusingly, with the factions within their larger minority who want things to be done their way.

Meanwhile, people like me (CHWM) are sitting on our balcony and watching a confusing mass of opposing ideals and judgements collide until the only thing we hear (because it gets the media attention) is the occasional extremist voice.

Douglas Adams once summed up Christianity as “…almost two-thousand years after a man was nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be for people to be nice to each other for a change…” which for a non-religious person like myself – was one of the most profound things I had ever read.

Not only is the core philosophy of most religions to be nice to each other (it’s a good social-evolutionary tactic – if you share, they share and you all survive long enough to have children that can continue your genetic heritage) but it is the basic tenet that is completely lost as soon as someone expresses an opinion. This is why it seems you can’t define Feminism, because there are as many different interpretations of it as there are feminists.

The core idea is equality and freedom. Women (or any other person on the gender-spectrum) should be free to self-actualize, treated with respect, and be allowed to do what they want –within the social boundaries of their culture. Human society has evolved past our biological requirements.

Practically, this means – anyone can get married, or not. Anyone can have children, or not. People can wear what they want, or not. Say what they want, read, write or present what they want in media, provided it doesn’t result in physical harm to anyone else.

Haaaaaaaaaaang on… Does that mean depictions of rape, abuse, sexism and hate speech in media are okay?

Kinda.

Freedom of speech isn’t about only hearing what you like. It’s about having the freedom to express yourself. People who say things we disagree with are not protected from feedback or complaints, or language and media that makes them feel threatened, triggered, or otherwise icky.

The fine line is where you actually call on people to rape, murder, use sexist or demeaning language against anyone else. It’s that point where your actions, ideas, and language result in direct harm to an actual person.

Haaaaaaaaaaang on… Does that mean depictions of rape, abuse, and sexism in media are NOT okay?

Again, Kinda.

If you enjoy media experiences where people are characterised by their gender, race, sexuality and are portrayed as villains, victims, less valued and so on. You need to decide for yourself what is acceptable. There have been long arguments against violence in video games as causing violence in real life (there is no evidence of this however). Then we have social atrocities like Gamergate – which I think has less to do with the effect of video games on human brains and more to do with people being really messed up.

Shit happens. Often in stories past, present and future. Across all genres, conflict occurs. Often this means bad things happen to bad people. Rape (of all genders) occurs. Death, dismemberment and so on are normal. If you’re offended by rape and violence in fictional media, that’s fine. I’m not engaged by it either. I do accept however that this sort of things does happen IRL, and therefore – it’s a valid inclusion in human stories. Maybe not in a sit-com, but Game of Thrones has never been a show in need of a laugh track.

Most of us have been raised with a moral compass that points in a direction that suggests we treat people with respect and we expect to be treated in a similar way in return.

Apathy is  strength. It affects me not a damn if you define yourself in a non-binary gender way. I will fully support you and your right to identify that way. Ditto with anything else. If you believe Obama is the Antichrist – I may think you’re an idiot, but I am completely okay with you believing that.

However, if you decide the only solution is to kidnap the POTUS and conduct an exorcism involving waterboarding him with holy water – then, although this does not affect me personally (it’s not like I’m being waterboarded) you have gone from expressing an opinion to taking action that directly harms someone. That I cannot support.

Apply this to which ever stream of feminist philosophy you like, also gender equality, race, religion, culture. Believe what you want. Say what you like, and always act respectfully towards people.

If acting respectfully means you have to reconsider your beliefs and change what you say – you may have finally worked out how to be a successful human.