Myötähäpeä.

From the Finnish, this lovely word means “second-hand embarrassment, or co-shame.” It’s that sense of awful, gut-curdling embarrassment I get for another person who is making a fool of themselves. The plummeting inward groan and  flush of heat to my scalp that makes me walk behind the couch or into the kitchen when a character on TV is making an ass of themselves. I guess to put an additional barrier between me and the imaginary situation that’s making me want to roll up into the upholstery for this person.

I feel that way every time a self-pubbed author implodes over a bad review, or even just the perception of a bad review.

Myötähäpeä.

Instead of going on about how I feel that kind of behavior reflects on the rest of us, I just want to say this:

If you read anything of mine, and didn’t like it, I might be sad about it, I might mope around my house and what’s the poooooooiiiinnnnnntt into my folded arms for awhile. But I’m not going to waddle into your review ass-first and tell you you you read it wrong, or that you’re a steeple-fingered, cackling star miser. I don’t get to pick how you feel about the thing I poured into your head.

The fact is, you didn’t have to give an unknown self-pubber a shot at all, and you did.

All I can say to that is Thank You.