Asking for the things that we want is a persistent habit that most of us abandon when we get wise enough to realize what rejection is, and how much it hurts. In fact we will do almost anything to avoid hearing that all empowering word “NO”, as if the person on the other end of the decision making process has just delivered the final words of execution. So my question is, when was the last time you ask for something? To be more clear, when was the last time you asked for something that you really wanted? I don’t remember the last time it has been that long. But there are a lot of things I’d like to have more, and somethings I’ve never had I’d like to have those too.

But, there is that big old nasty barrier called hesitation. It is a big ugly lump that stands between you and all you hope to gain. Hesitation is your self-esteem getting in the way, questioning why you have to risk everything for something so trivial. It is the master manipulator that whispers lies that deceive. Think about it. When was the last time you asked for something that mattered: a vacation with your family? A raise at work? A date with someone you’ve had your eye on? Did you ask, or did you hesitate, question your sanity and walk away? Everyone has done this. That is why asking is one of the hardest things to do.

I can tell you with all honesty I have walked away from more golden moments than I could possible count. How come? I never bedevilled that what I really wanted was worthy of my having it. And so, when you make these kinds of choice, instead dog asking for the things that matter, you revert to the lesser items on your bucket list. You ask for the things that are sure-fire winners and that could never reject you: A lower paying position, or settling for something that is easy because you don’t believe you are worthy enough to receive the one thing you deserve.

Being rejected can be a terrifying experience. For some people it is paralyzing. They do anything to avoid it, especially taking a risk that involved hearing that word “NO.” But what if you just said the hell with it. What if you stopped caring about rejection altogether? What if rejection didn’t even exist? What would you do if you had to get through 299 rejections before landing the final YES at 300 that was there answer to all your dreams? Would you go for it then, or hide behind the sidelines and watch as someone else strolls up and steals what could have been yours?

“Good things come to those who wait have the courage to ask for it.”

From this day forward you are going to develop a new habit. I call it the “Just Ask For It” habit. It works like this. When you want something, no matter what it is, and you have to ask for it to get out because there is no other way, you are not going to hesitate. If you allow yourself to think about or question whether you should or not, chances are you will think yourself right out of it and back down. Trust me: I have been doing this most of my life. I have learned that good things don’t come to those that wait; they come to those that have the courage to ask for them. Develop the “No More Fear” attitude. Take your life in your own hands instead of letting others dictate what it is you deserve or what you are allowed to have. You decide today what you want. You create the opportunity to get it. You ask for it. Ask nicely at first. If you get a NO, so be it. There is no such thing as rejection; it just isn’t time yet for you to have this “gold” you deserve.

And you deserve the best. Don’t let anyone else tell you differently.

1. Make a list of all the things you want this year but you have been resisting out of fear of asking. Do you want more time off? Do you want to spend more time with your wife/husband? Whatever it is, make a list of these things that are important.

2. Now, how will you feel if you don’t ask for this thing? Worse yet, you don’t ask for it and someone else does? Don’t let fear win. If you let it take over today, it will continue to do so tomorrow and the day after, too.

Ask For It!

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