This was it. My fate was about to be sealed by a jury of my peers. Only the eleven judges would be allowed a vote. The Advocates would not have a say now: which was probably a good thing. Not only had I carelessly lost another assignment, but I had also insulted them and their entire race on more than one occasion. I was definitely not in their good graces.

Haamiah stepped out of the box and began pacing in front of the other judges as he continued. “We cannot allow Kendi’s irreverence to go unpunished any longer. He escaped retribution once before, and the consequence is that another seed has perished. Furthermore, Kendi stands here today with no remorse, having learned nothing from being given a second chance. It is the burden of this court to rectify Kendi’s transgression. The time for speeches has passed. We should act now. All those who feel that exile is in order, please join me.”

Maion, the judge of self-control and discipline, rose from his seat immediately and went to stand with Haamiah—the judge of integrity. Ramiel, the watcher, followed him. After a brief pause, Sraosha, the judge of obedience, stood and joined them.

The remaining seated judges looked anxiously at one another. Johoel, the mediator, turned to look at me. I could not be sure what I saw in his eyes. Regret, maybe? After a long glare, Johoel shook his head and slowly rose from his seat to join Haamiah and his lynch mob.

This was really happening. Exile? Suddenly, I could feel the weight of my predicament crashing down upon me. Was I really that bad? Had my actions warranted this kind of punishment? Would I survive this so that I could someday be restored, or was my ultimate destiny the lake of fire? My knees buckled and I collapsed on to the floor at the foot of the cathedra. Reuel reached out to assist me, but I held out one hand in protest. I needed a moment to regain my composure. I placed my face on the hard marble floor, as I could not bear to watch any longer.

“Kendi, you have said nothing in your defense today that has changed my mind about your character. The attributes that Jah created in you seemed to have been all but aborted. I escorted Jason to Erewhon on the night that he died, so I felt his pain and his loss. I cannot see that activity go unpunished.” I heard the scraping of Sammael’s chair against the marble as he stood also to join Haamiah’s delegation.

That was six now—more than what they needed to render the judgment of exile. I slumped forward so that my face was buried in the floor. I would not confront the remaining judges. It no longer mattered what their decision would be—Haamiah had his quorum. Although there was always a presiding judge, it was rare that the presiding judge went against the majority rule of the high court.

“Are these all that will stand on the side of justice today?” Haamiah asked in a critical tone. I heard no response. I dared not lift my head to ascertain the situation.

“Brethren, can we not find some middle ground concerning our responsibility here today? This does not have to turn into an all or nothing scenario. We should explore other options,” Micah pleaded.

“Yes, my brothers. I agree that we should examine our alternatives further. Although we don’t like to think of exile as finality, we don’t know of any that have recovered from such a sentence. There is certainly a slim chance of rehabilitation if we make this decision,” Paschar added.

“Rehabilitation? Are you kidding me?” Maion bellowed from across the chamber. “Do you sincerely think that Kendi wants to change?”

“Brothers, don’t be deterred based on this obvious demonstration that you see here. Kendi did not display one shred of remorse for Jason today. He never professed to any shame brought to the office that he should revere, and not one of his apologies was for his transgressions. His regret is that he got caught, and that he is now facing the sentence of exile.” Haamiah agreed.

I could not move from my position on the floor. The truth of the words that Haamiah had spoken were overwhelming. The shame seemed to bury me deeper in the marble tomb in which I had encased myself. Maybe the floor would just open up and swallow me; at least it would be an escape from this torment.