Now what? If I say nothing, all of this speculation continues, and it was quite possible that I would never have the opportunity to set this straight. Rashnu and Qadhi attempting to speak on my behalf was not currently beneficial. What the hell? Here goes everything.

     “Reuel, sir, I would like to say something now, if I may?” The entire room fell silent the instant that I began to speak.

     “Now he wants to speak! Now, after we have gone to such lengths to obtain the truth? Surely you will not allow this Reuel. We are ready to levy our judgment!” Sraosha wailed.

     “You had your chance Kendi. It’s our turn now,” Haamiah agreed.

     “Kendi has a right to speak. He IS the one on trial after all,” Qadhi retorted.

     “Enough!” The gavel came down. “This is still my chamber. I am the presiding judge, and I will decide who will speak, and who won’t,” Reuel thundered.

     “We have more to consider here than just bad attitudes and overly inflated egos. I personally am interested in what Kendi has to say right now. And we will stop interrupting these proceedings long enough to actually listen. Is that clear?”

     And with that, order was returned to the courtroom. All of the side conversations and arguments came to an abrupt halt. All of the judges returned to the box, and took their sits. The Advocates slid their chairs back into the proper position, and the Authorities reclaimed their post in front of the double doors.

     “Thank you.” Reuel said quietly, and then nodded to me to begin.

     I suddenly had the floor; however,  now, I wasn’t certain that I really wanted it. But they were discussing exile! Excluding Sheol, exile was the only thing that I could think of that would be worse than continuing in this role as Guardian. I had to say something. I would never survive being cast away. My only remaining option would become joining the Dominion. At this moment, the Dominion was probably the only celestial creatures that were despised more than me. I would have to be brilliant to pull this off. 

     The room was silent waiting for me to say something . . . anything.

     I wished Jah would stop the damn storm raging outside. I got it already. He was angry, but the tempest was beyond distracting. The thunder, the lighting, and the wind set an eerie enough tone in the chamber. The rain only added to the unsettling atmosphere of the room—a room that appeared to be growing smaller with each passing second. And, since Ophan’s angry departure, the sound of the Thrones and their chimes rang loud in the distance as he rejoined his assembly in Jah’s inner chamber. As I stood in front of Reuel, “alone” took on a brand new tenor.

     I had my audience . . . so it was now or never.

     “Your Grace, let me start by saying that I know what I have done is inexcusable.”

     “It’s only inexcusable now because you got caught. Very noble indeed Kendi,” Paschar grumbled. The gavel hammered against the cathedra once again, and Paschar straightened up further in his seat regaining his composure.

     “I know that this court feels as though I have disregarded both the office of the Guardian, as well as taken advantage of another immortal that was willing, yet unknowing. For this, I would like to apologize to the court. I fully agree that Jason’s death was unnecessary, senseless, and would have been prevented if I had been in place that night—if I were not so distracted. I agree that taking advantage of Ophan was divisive and deplorable, and I should have never resorted to such tactics to get what I wanted. Again, I apologize to the court for my behavior.”

     I sighed and took a long breath to steady myself before continuing.

     “Reuel, this is my second blunder as a Guardian. I tried. I really have. In two assignments, I have not managed to figure out what it is that I am supposed to do, or what anyone expects me to learn. All that I am doing is spinning my wheels. I just don’t belong in this office. I was forced into this position again, and this is the result. And now this court is throwing around words like exile and justice? How is any of this fair to me? I have requested Empyreal duty more than once, and I have been shot down every time. Why is no one listening to me? I don’t care to be anywhere near Earth or the vermin that resides there.”

     At that moment I remembered the presence of Enoch and Elijah. Damn!

     “No offense to the Advocates.” I looked up in time to see the grimace on Elijah’s face as he shook his head in obvious disapproval.

     Why were they even here? It was absurd that I had to tiptoe around them.

     “I don’t get it. What is man that Jah is so mindful of them? I need someone to help me to understand! At this point, I just don’t know what else to say.”