Let me share an embarrassing secret with you: I have alway had the “bad habit” of giving up on things before I had a chance to really be good at them. If I started playing the piano, I would give up after a few lessons; when I started writing a book, I gave up after the first few chapters. When I tried jogging to get into better shape, the habit didn’t last more than a few days. There is no doubt new habits are tough to implement, especially when you first start out trying to build the daily practice; but they are impossible to form if we give up too soon in the early stage of forming the habit.

I have always been the kind of person addicted to the idea of doing something, and often I would start doing this “something” but, when the reality of what I was doing became frightfully boring, or the work too tedious, I would give up. Now, this wasn’t a simple “throw up my hands and just walk away” giving up. It is more subtle than that. I would simply take a step back. This was done by skipping a day on practice, or saying ,”I’ll do it the day after tomorrow.” But, that was my way of opting out of continuing with the habit. Procrastination was my first step to backing out. In all those tomorrows there was always something more to do, something else to keep me distracted, just so long as I didn’t have to face the responsibility and challenge of what I was attempting.

Hitting Tough Walls

Giving up before you reach your goal implies several things. First of all, you hit a wall and become overwhelmed about what to do. The solution for this is not coming easy. You ask the advice others and they might tell you, “Oh, don’t worry about it, those things happen, or maybe, “Why don’t you just take a break from it?” I always liked it when people told me this. It encouraged my involuntary decision to “take a break” and that is what I would do. Only my breaks turned into vacations, and those turned into putting the idea or venture on a “shelf” where it would stay for many weeks, moths and even years. And I kept it there too, not because I planned on picking it up again soon but, to serve as a reminder that I was busy. I had all these things to do, and soon, I was going to get around to doing them.

People give up way too soon for many reasons, and while the reasoning may seem justified and right, you need to step back and analyze if this is a repeat pattern. Do you make excuses for giving up on things that could potentially make a difference in your life and the lives of others? Are your excuses valid? I used to think so.

For instance, my favourite reason for not committing to following through on something was because I had no time. And yet, I had time for TV or internet surfing.

Another excuse: I’m too old for that. And yet, I see other people much older than myself succeeding at the things I am trying to accomplish.

Another excuse: The timing just isn’t right. There is a saying that goes like this: “The best time to do something was twenty years ago. The second best time to do it is now.”

Another excuse: “I’m bored with this.” You are feeling bored with the venture. Now, this could be anything: Putting an old car back together, building a house, or deciding to create an online business. Making excuses for giving up.

And the excuses go on: It is too difficult; I just need to step away and think; Maybe I should do some mores research first. Now, don’t get me wrong. It is good to step away at times and reconsider your options or rethink your plan. But walking away and then watching TV for 3 weeks would suggest you are putting it off indefinitely. The Burden of Responsibility was greater than you imagined. This happens in a lot of marriages. People get hitched to the idea of falling in love and living happily ever after. We see it all the time in the movies, the fairy tale wedding, where two people are heading off into the sunset or driving down the road in at the car with “Just Married” to live a fruitful and happy life full of passionate sex and love play. But that is just the start of the journey, as many already know and have experienced.

Listening to your excuses and “false reasoning” when you run into an obstacle is an opportunity to change things. You don’t have to believe any of it. You do have a choice. Push yourself to follow through with that extra five minutes of practice on the piano. Push yourself to train at the gym for just one more set  before calling it a day. Push yourself to write just one more paragraph before you stop writing for the day.

Give Up or Persevere?

“So, what are you going to do now?” That is a good question to ask yourself. Are you going to give up before you tried to go just a little further? Or, will you persevere, dig in and push through? The biggest companies and successful entrepreneurs started out just as you and I are: normal guys and gals that put up with the shit till they got to greener pastures. I assure you behind every success story is a man or woman that pushed through the mire of defeat. Did they want to give up at times? maybe. But perseverance plays a powerful role in every story.

Perseverance is a way of “feeling the fear and doing it anyway” as Susan Jeffers wrote in her book of the same name. Perseverance is a character trait that is earned. You condition yourself to persevere through facing those trials and tribulations. Now, you might be facing a situation now that seems hopeless and beyond repair. You will have to decide if it is worth continuing, or if you really should just walk away and abandon ship. But remember, every ship that you abandon will never reach a safe shore; if you stay on board, even through the roughest seas, there could be land on that other side of the ocean. You will never know until you try to go a little further. Success is not guaranteed in anything; but failure is if you give up too soon.

What Can You Do? Before you give up on something that could potentially turn into the greatest thing that has happened to you, take a moment to revisit the situation. Why are you giving in right now? Giving up, in most cases, stems from a form of dysfunctional habit. You may have given up in the past as a means of escape, to cope with a situation.

Practice Pushing Ahead

I grew up hiding from most things. I ran when the fire got to big, or left up to someone else to take care of the situation. “Oh, he’ll handle it” I would say. This forges a bad habit of running and evading what could be your greatest opportunity for advancement. As long as you are turning away from everything when the gong gets tough, you will never accomplish anything worthy; and the worst part is, not only will you suffer, but all those that could have benefited from your efforts will lose out on something.

I know that facing your greatest tests in life is frightful; if it were easy, everyone would be doing it. Let the world see who you are. You have nothing to lose. People give up way too soon because they think they are saving themselves from looking silly, avoiding failure, or saving themselves for a “better chance or opportunity” that never comes. But the truth is, you have more to lose by fleeing. And if you make flight a habit, it will stick with you for the rest of your life. It will become your default action in every tough situation.

So push yourself to go that little extra step further. And when you get there, try to inch ahead a bit more. Small steps are huge gains over the long run.

Takeaway Actions:

Giving up on new habits becomes a habit in itself; before you give up on something, try to push yourself just a little further to get over that tough spot.
Challenge yourself to do something just a little better than you did the day before. You don’t have to make huge strides in a short amount of time, but small advances over the long term.
When you find yourself making an excuse such as “It is too difficult” or “I just don’t have time”, take a moment to imagine what it would be like if you pushed forward. Imagine what it would be like if you “Overcame that difficulty” and made time for what matters.

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