When I was little I kept my eyes closed when walking in the dark. I was afraid of what I would see in the darkness, afraid something would move that wasn't supposed to be there.

I remember late nights walking up and down the stairs with my older sister. The lights in the house would be off and she would go first down the stairs. I would grab the back of her shirt, balling the fabric tight into my fist, and shut my eyes as I followed close behind her.

My heart raced in tune with my heavy breathes. She made sure to walk slow enough so I could safely follow; I was never more than three inches behind her. The ground would turn from carpet to tile, signaling we were close, and she would whisper, "almost there".
We stopped at some point and her hand would search the wall for the kitchen's light switch. Once the light penetrated through my closed eyelids, I knew I could open them.

It's a strange thing to keep my eyes closed in the dark, if I really think about. When I close my eyes, I am only choosing a different darkness to see.

I was afraid of what I would see/if I would see something move in the darkness.


I don't know how honest people are about themselves to others; sometimes I'm too honest about myself in general. I might be called a little naive but I don't expect people to hurt me with the truth I speak. Have I been hurt in that way? Yes. But I continue being honest. It's something I like about myself. It's good to like something about yourself despite what others may think.

Armor protects us from bleeding out. It isn't to make us permanently hard. Comrades don't hang out relaxing at home with their gear on. They take it off. Armor is for battle. There are times to wear it and there are times to take it off and relax in safety.

During those nights my sister walked in front of me, she was my armor. All I had to do was hold on tight until she said it was okay to open my eyes and let go. I just had to hold on until we got to the light.

Lately I've been wanting to shut my eyes on things (nothing shady or illegal, just situations that are part of life in general) but I know I can't walk like that forever. Growing up requires me to open my eyes in the dark. To face darkness no matter what may move in the midst . . . because only when I face the darkness can I find the light. Only when I open my eyes do I have a hope to see the way out. It may take some wrong turns, it may cause a toe to ram into furniture . . . but it's necessary.

Now when I walk in the darkness with my sister, I'm either running ahead of her to get to the bathroom/kitchen first, or I'm waiting back in the hallway behind a wall so I can jump out and scare her.

Some time in middle school God set me free from the fear of what I would see in the darkness. That even if some shadow did move, I have His Word, I have His Love and Protection to keep me safe. 1 John 4:4 & 1 John 4:18 became stapled to my heart.

And even now, when fear tries to come, God reminds me that I am old enough now to let go of another's shirt and only cling to Jesus - as He is with me always. He is the Light.


Facing situations isn't always easy but it should always help us grow. Trees need wind in order to become strong. The wind is what tests and strengthens a tree.
I take comfort in the fact that the wind can be a simple breeze, relieving the sun's heat, and that when storms do come it's only to make me stronger, and that they don't last forever.

I hope these words give encouragement to you in some way, in whatever situation you may be in right now.

Don't give up. Storms don't last forever, they just make your roots dig deeper.

Open your eyes . . . and find the light.


Sydney


Isaiah 43:2