Hater @ Hatemail.com 
10:26 PM (39 minutes ago) to me 

I spent 2 days of my life reading ‘where things come back’ and it was the worst book I have ever read. It was not at all suspensful. It was poorly written and had a terrible plot. I am slightly enraged that I even bought the book in the first place. I wish I never laid eyes on this terrible book. I can’t even begin to tell you how terrible it is. I have no clue how you won an award for this book, but whoever gave you those awards was either blatantly stupid, or severely handicapped, because no one in their right mind would give this book an award. I have to say though, whoever did the cover art was a damn good artist. That’s the part of the book that caught my attention. I cannot believe I wasted my time reading this poorly written book. I’m so enraged right now, I can’t describe my feelings. Bottom line: your first book was a complete failure with me. I could have read this book within a day, but nothing in it caught my attention to be able to keep reading. I almost gave up halfway through, and looking back, I should have. If you’re book is about god, how about putting that on the back somewhere next time? I’m an atheist, so I was laughing through the godly parts. Its all made up. And the part where Cullen witter keeps imagining things was very confusing. You should have written in there that he was imagining them, instead of making the reader find out for themselves that it was imaginary. This book…… Was just awful. No more words from me. Goodbye, john Whaley. Have a terrible day, because you know I will. You useless paperclip. Don’t quit your day job, writing is obviously not for you.

JohnCorey Whaley <jcoreywhaley@gmail.com>
11:05 PM (0 minutes ago)

to Hater 
Dearest Hater,

Were I to measure my gratitude in gold, I’d be a rich man.  Your letter was a real wake up call for me.  Truly.  For so long, I’ve toiled and beaten my head against the wall, always asking myself “Why are you doing this?  You’re no writer.  You’re a joke.”

And so you see how your letter has stricken such a resounding chord with me.  You were so skillfully able to put into words the very identity crisis that I’ve been suffering through for more than four years, ever since the wretched, awful book in question was published. What a tremendous and surprising relief it is that someone with your obvious skill for language and charming personality has chosen to bless me with your divine intervention.  Surely I’ve managed, despite being such a terrible writer, to garner some favor from the gods, for today I have truly seen the light and it has cast away the shadows that have hidden my shameful truth for so so long.  I am no artist.  I am but a sham.  

God bless you for your gift this day.

JCW

PS: I had an incredible day in the beautiful town I call home with my awesome boyfriend and we laughed at your hateful email together and will look back on it and laugh and smile and only be happy because of it just to spite you.  Also, this is my very first hate mail, so congratulations on being in a club of one.  I’m sure you’re quite happy there.