Photo Credit: Kmitu | Dreamstime Stock Photos

 

Let’s be honest. It’s not always easy to be intentional about encouraging others.

Life happens. Family responsibilities, job responsibilities, church and community responsibilities, running kids where they need to be – sometimes we find ourselves wondering more about who will encourage us, then who around our circles of influence need a little word of cheer. But as I’ve learned from personal experience, on both sides, most recently with someone encouraging me, looking for ways to encourage others should always be something we’re doing.

Here are 5 reasons why each one of us should be more intentional in encouraging others:
 1. Because God wants us to encourage each other.

There are many scriptures throughout the Old and New Testaments about encouraging one another. Below are a couple I mentioned in yesterday’s post, along with one more:

1 Thessalonians 5:11 – “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”
Proverbs 12:25 – “Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.”
Ecclesiastes 4:9 – “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!”

2. Because we never know what our encouragement means to someone else. 

Several  years ago I started making a point to write notes to various people each week and thank them for something or let them know I was thinking about them. In this day of email and texts, cards can be rare, and I love the surprised and delighted responses I get from friends when they get a card from me. I’ve sent them to members in our Life Group at church and let them know they’re missed when they’re not around, or to a friend who is walking through a tough season. Even “just because” notes that often leave a greater impact than you’ll ever know. We never know how God will use a text, a note, or a phone call or even a little gift to make a major difference for someone else.

3. Because science also backs up  reasons for why we need encouragement.

An article in Fast Company recently pointed out that positive emotions work opposite to negative emotions. When we’re fearful, anxious, or stressed, our focus narrows, our concentration is limited, and it’s harder to think clearly. When we’re feeling happy, we’re more likely to have a greater inclusive outlook on life than a self-centered one, and we think a lot better.

One study mentioned in a book called Social Intelligence discovered a leader’s emotional tone had more impact than what he actually said – if he gave bad news in warm, upbeat tones, his employees still rated the interaction positively. If he used negative tones, even with delivering good news, such as achieving a goal, the employees rated the interaction negatively, and felt bad.

If encouragement, or the lack of encouragement – even in how something is said –  makes a difference for people in the workforce, I think it can definitely make a difference among our closest friends, family and fellow believers.

Richard Boyatzis, psychologist at Case Western Reserve University, explained that focusing on what someone needs to do to “fix” themselves will effectively close them down to new possibilities or ideas.

He did an experiment on college students, scanning their brains during interviews about college life. For one group, the interviews focused on positive outlooks – where they hoped to be in ten years, and what they wanted to gain from college. The other group had a negatively-focused interview where they talked about the stresses and fears of college life, struggles in their performance and workload and troubles in making new friends.

“A conversation that starts with a person’s dreams and hopes can lead to a learning path yielding that vision.” ~ Fast Company

4. Because our words are powerful – in the best and worst possible sense. 

The words we speak can encourage or discourage every single day. We choose the words we say, and we choose whether we’ll encourage someone or not. In our marriages. In our friendships. With people we run into every day. We have an opportunity to impact them for better or for worse. I’ve talked about this book before, but one of my favorite books is the The Power of a Woman’s Words by Sharon Jayne. She shares a story about two households.

“I got two A’s,” the small boy said. His voice was filled with glee.

His father very bluntly asked, “Why didn’t you get three?”

“Mom, I’ve got the dishes done,” The girl called from the door.

Her mother very calmly said, “Did you sweep the floor?”

“I mowed the grass,” the tall boy said, “And put the mower away.”

His father asked him with a shrug, “Did you clean off the clay?”

The children in the house next door Seemed happy and content.

The same things happened over there, But this is how it went.

“I got two A’s,” the small boy said. His voice was filled with glee.

His father proudly said, “That’s great; I’m glad you belong to me.”

“Mom, I got the dishes done,” The girl called from the door.

Her mother smiled and softly said, “Each day I love you more.”

“I’ve mowed the grass,” the tall boy said. “And put the mower away.”

His father answered with much joy, “You’ve made my happy day!”

Children deserve just simple praise for the tasks they’re asked to do.

If they’re to lead a happy life, So much depends on you!

(Author Unknown)

5. Because all of us need a reminder of what our best is, and what it can be.

If you struggle with knowing the right things to say, or how to encourage or help make someone’s day better, use this little list to get started.

 

 

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