Non writers have a romcom influenced notion of what being a writer is like. They picture an ageing, attractively dishevelled man - say, Colin Firth or Jeff Goldblum - brooding over his typewriter (yes, even in the computer age), clocking off at midday and spending the rest of the day frolicking with his quirkily monikered dog. He might give readings of his work, where identical velvet clad groupies drape themselves over him, or teach creative writing, where his mostly female students do the same. Female authors seldom feature - or, if they do, they tend to be obscenely wealthy, heavily made up crones who have regurgitated the same romance plot for forty years. Never mind that this must have taken considerable nous - she's rarely accorded the same respect as her male counterpart.

Real writers know this is bosh. The vast majority have another job to make ends meet, whether it's as a risk analyst or a barista at Starbucks. When you work full time it can be almost impossible to squeeze any writing in. You might declare week nights off limits, as you're knackered, but since your weekends are crammed with everything else you couldn't manage during the week, plus family / social engagements, days can pass before you do any actual writing. Cue guilt: how can you call yourself a writer if you can't dedicate time to your craft? Everyone knows you need to write every day in order to keep that creative muscle toned ... blah, blah, blah.

Let's clonk this particular myth on the head, shall we? Sure, you can force yourself to write a few paragraphs every day, but how do you know if they're any good? Wouldn't your time be spent more constructively cultivating other interests or catching up with friends? Your talent won't gurgle down the plug hole because, shock horror, you fancied a night off.

That said, you do need to emphasise that when you're writing you're not to be disturbed. Since it's such a solitary pastime, people are under the impression they can walk in on it, like they do with reading (grr). If you have a separate room to decamp to, great; if not, inform any interested parties you're on a roll and will only surface for food / sex / fag breaks etc. They'll soon get the message.

Once these ground rules have been established, you need to be similarly strict with yourself. Although the Net is a fantastic research tool / source of inspiration, it's also a procrastinator's paradise. We've all done it, we've all thought, "Oh, I must see what Sardonic Guy With Quiff thinks of X movie" - and, before we know it, we've viewed Sardonic Guy's back catalogue and graduated to zapping zombies with cake mix. Where possible, put all distracting gizmos to one side when writing. You can save the vlog, game etc. as a reward.

Although self publishing has taken some of the pain out of the process, other issues are alive and well. You still enter short story competitions, yearning for mainstream recognition; you still lose it when somebody on the other side of the Atlantic 'steals' your brilliant idea. You still research agents and publishing houses in the hope they'll take a chance on your book - then, reading the small print, learn they're against everything you stand for. There's the well meaning relatives who timidly suggest, "Perhaps you should do it as a hobby," or your douchey colleague who drawls, "They publish any old crap nowadays."

If writing is like anything, it's poor old Sisyphus rolling his boulder up and down the hill for all eternity. Unlike him, we're addicts, and couldn't give up if we wanted to.