This was one of the least embarrassing things I could find:

The woman of mist was internally grinning. Her plan was working. She was careful not to even utter her name aloud, although she loved it so. Charna. Like charred wood, a blemish on her family tree, she thought. Except there was no blemishes with this plan. She would get a sample or die trying. And this plan would ensure expansion.

Joshua spent his quiet time while Misseva was magicking, to think. He finished finding the puzzle pieces ofhis prophecy, and was shocked to find what he found in the depths of the mind.

Ones of whom you severed all ties to

The scions? But we couldn’t let them be in danger.

Will soon bring a great joy to all of you

well, that was obvious

but a small evil is coming near

No. No no no no no.

one of it’s subjects you hold dear.

“Mucio.”

Yes, reader. What you think is happening. War is upon them. The prophecy is slowly coming true.

Also:

Mark turned to face the monster, a thing with long legs, (letting it move fast, Mark noted) and huge eyes. It turned towards him, its leg points needle sharp. It slashed at Mark, who did nothing but deflect it. He didn’t want to kill the creature, more of tiring it out so it would run away, but he never got there. You see, a quarter of stale bread isn’t filling, even if Jessie had conducted magic like that, which Mark had been thinking about earlier. He realized someone must had been fighting through Jessie, her eyes had never been brown, her hair had never beencurly, even when they were kids, her hair was pin­straight.

In that same contest in which Mark had won “Curliest Hair”, Jessie had won “Straightest Hair”. He also suspected that when Jessie had gotten “possessed”, she’d hadn’t had enough energy to…

But now Mark was the one who didn’t have the energy. Within a couple of swipes, the monster had taken him down. His shirt had the evidence, along with the cuts he had on his upper arms and jeans. He fell into the shadows too, three feet away from his sister.

The creature turned it’s giant eyes around, and when it saw no people, it ran away on it’s spindly legs.

The creature had left him there to die. (DUN DUN DUUUUUN)

Baby me was the cleveres (which is a title baby me came up with). The second part, by the way, is in the middle of an EPIC FIGHT SCENE™, in which Mark ruminates over a contest in which he won a curliest hair award? This was little me trying to be funny? It’s really, really bad, and if you ever feel like your writing is the worst ever, the above will prove you wrong. These are direct quotes by the way, nothing was corrected except for formatting issues where I pasted the text.