Be prepared to probably not do any of the following things for at least three years after having children. These are in no particular order:

Say no to pizza
Floss
Canoe
Take more than 8 minutes to eat a meal
Have a great pair of socks
Set your alarm
Go antiquing
Stretch
Like your hair
Hold in a fart
Hang glide
Make a Salad
Listen to a story
Use a hot tub
Iron something
Snorkel
Karate
Emergency couple’s therapy

Don’t freak-out. There’s a host of new things you’ll get to do after becoming a parent.

Butter a piece of toast while peeing.

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