I dated a boy in college who, with his long hair and granny glasses, was exactly my physical type in those days. We both majored in communications, putting us in the same circles. We attended a university in the Midwest, and, in retrospect, probably the only thing we had in common was that we were both from New York. @ Blog Mondays

He smoked pot every day and, as the child of an alcoholic, I was certain his daily use of a mood-altering drug would turn him into a lifelong drug addict or an alcoholic like my dad. So when he told me he had spent his time at a party I had missed talking with “Carol,” I was ready to leave the relationship. (Names and details have been disguised to ensure anonymity – even though everything about them can be viewed on “Carol’s” Facebook account.) She was from New Jersey, close enough to his geographic sweet spot. I respected his honesty for telling me he’d spent time with her, but I was ready to let him move on. Seeing him and Carol on campus from time to time was painful but not gut-wrenching. Eventually he married her and they moved out west. End of story. Or end of story until the Internet.

I admit to being an Internet stalker. Not in a conniving, interactive way, but when information is at my fingertips, it’s difficult for me to avoid the temptation of checking it out. While LinkedIn makes it possible to see the work history of anyone you know or knew, and Twitter lets you follow the mindless drivel of anyone you opt to follow, it’s hard to avoid being nosy when it can be done at the click of a mouse.

Exes are the prime target of Internet stalkers such as me. The key that best fits the lock to your old flame’s life history is his wife’s unprotected Facebook account. Sure enough, thirty years after this couple moved across the country, I’ve learned their wedding date, the number of children and grandchildren they have, and where they all live. I’ve seen their wedding picture as well as shots of their children from toddlers to adults. Pictures of them snuggling with their grandchildren. It’s fascinating, but it’s just not right.

It’s no surprise that my ex’s wife and I have similar tastes in books, movies and TV shows. What’s creepy about it is that I know what she likes to do for entertainment. I shouldn’t know this.

While I’m not especially proud of having stalked my old boyfriend’s entire life through his wife’s public Internet account, with three thirty-something children, I can’t imagine how one of them hasn’t told Mom to simply go into her Facebook settings and click on “private.” Except that none of them has done so with their own account either, all of which I’ve thoroughly checked out. I have no right to this intimate information about the life they’ve built together but, as long as it’s accessible, I’m going to take a peak every now and then. God knows who else is going to take a peak. And that’s where the Internet gets really scary.

My old flame and his wife appear to have many common interests and an extraordinarily happy decades-long marriage. Because this fellow wasn’t the major love of my life, this conclusion warms my heart. I am happy for both of them because so few couples are “in love” after forty years of marriage. I’m grateful for all of us that I stepped out of the way because he and I were simply not a match that would have built the same life together that they did. But I should not have access to the details about the beautiful life they have.

Now, readers, go directly to your Internet accounts. Click on the icon near the upper right that looks like a gym locker lock. From there, proceed through all the steps from which you can select what from your Facebook account can and cannot be seen by others – everyone, friends, close friends, etc. If you still don’t get it, go to https://www.facebook.com/about/basics/ where you can learn how to take control over who sees what you share on Facebook and other social sites.

How do you feel about all the information that may be available about you or others on the Internet? And remember that not all old girlfriends are over it. And even if they are, do you really want them knowing about your personal life? I wouldn’t.