When Mollie began a state ran nursery school at the age of three, but very nearly four, years of age the change in her challenging behaviour really did explode in intensity and frequency.  Massive meltdowns involving the destruction of property, verbal outbursts and violence towards staff and her peers were common place.  Between the age of almost four and six years old she had multiple school exclusions, was banned from plays and trips unless a parent could accompany her, moved to older classes and spent a long period of time on a part time timetable.

With hindsight I do realise that many of these actions would have been classed as illegal exclusions but at that time I simply didn’t have the knowledge that I have since acquired. However this first school was very supportive and perhaps, during that time, they were also unaware of the laws surrounding informal exclusions and so I don’t bear any bad feelings regarding this time.  I think that we were both muddling through the dark together and trying to do the best that we could, especially bearing in mind that Mollie had no diagnosis of anything during this period.

Please find the links below regarding illegal exclusions in case this is something that is currently affecting your child.

https://www.ipsea.org.uk/what-you-need-to-know/exclusion-from-school

http://www.cafamily.org.uk/get-involved/campaigning/illegal-exclusions/

By the time she was six years old she was a school refuser due to her underlying condition causing her such high anxiety within the school setting.  Two more schools were tried but her anxiety and inability to cope was soaring. Even with excellent support and provision at her second placement she still just could not cope and within approximately eight months she was school refusing.  Her third placement, which was an independent specialist school, followed a similar fate.  At this point I removed Mollie from the school roll and we began to radically un-school her.  That was two and half years ago and the progress that she has made since that point, whilst painfully slow, has also been amazing.

Radically un-schooling Mollie has served us extremely well and the result is that I now have a completely changed child on my hands.  She is far calmer, able to discuss and reason, has better understanding and empathy towards others and copes much better with many demands of everyday living.  Also the child that was afraid to leave the home and a virtual recluse is now going out on a regular basis.  This has been achieved in fits and starts of progress followed by regression but we are now seeing only progress without the, at one time very familiar and expected, steps back.

Please find the link below from a presentation that I gave in Leeds describing our journey with Mollie in March 2015.  Even from that point in time progression has been massive.

http://www.thepdaresource.com/files/the_first_11_years.pdf

So between the ages of 6 and 12 years Mollie has only officially accessed approximately 16 months of formal education within a school setting.  The good news is that Mollie is now doing so well that she has requested to try school again.  Obviously we have huge fears and reservations that doing so could rapidly undo all of our hard work if she is not handled in the same manner that we handle her at home.

But I have to accept that the comfort and ease of Home Ed has now served its purpose for Mollie and it is now time to trust her judgement and to step back into the abyss.  I really don’t know how she will cope within school but, as her mum, I just have to give her that chance.  She is now in desperate need of peer contact that I simply can’t facilitate for her at home.  We have tried Home Ed meet ups but they are too random and unpredictable for her, she needs the familiarity, certainty and routine that school can provide.

Mollie’s statement is now being transferred over to an EHCP and we are also pursuing education otherwise i.e. a Home Ed package from the LA during the interim in order to see how Mollie copes and to hopefully assist with a successful transition back into school.  So please do wish us luck for this very big step and the next milestone in our journey living with PDA.

Hopefully this post will give hope to many parents who desperately worry about their child not receiving a formal education, who are battling with school refusal and are afraid of what way to turn for the best.  Ultimately every child and family situation is unique and different and our path may not be suitable for all, but if this is a path that you currently find yourself on it is possible that it may reap huge rewards and ultimately help the child to access education and socialisation later in life.

Mollie is growing up very fast and hopefully this final step of recovery will be a success for us all and most importantly a success for Mollie, understanding of PDA and will give hope to those children and parents who will follow us in this most complex and challenging of journeys.